Rising of the Heart
by Nanadb
Summary: Set six years after Breaking Down. Jacob and Renessme are copping with their relationship when new feelings start to rise. Join the couple to discover how to deal with this feelings.
1. Preface Jacob POV

You were the star I always dreamed.

The one who stole the pain I always expected.

You are the sun that heats my world.

You are the moon that gives bright to my nights.

You are everything I had looked for, and more than I had expected.

Love is a symbol of eternity.

It removes sense of time.

Destroys all memory of the begging and rescind all fear of an end.

Time.

Too steady for the ones who wait.

Too swift for the ones who dread.

Too lengthy for the ones who suffer.

Too short for the ones who celebrate.

But for the ones who love, time is eternal…


	2. Chap 1 Jacob POV

Everything seemed to be perfect. La Push´s pack and mine got along, we were back to be a family. Sam and Emily got married. She was about to have their second child, the first one was a beautiful girl, Lila, she was three. We all were preoccupied for her; she had all the possibilities of become the next wolf woman. Leah was the most preoccupied, after all if somebody knew the charges of being a wolf woman, it was her. She had overcome almost everything about her being the only wolf woman knew in our history. Although she didn´t wish that to anyone, especially her almost niece. Seth and I had finished the high school at the same time; I took a few years off high school to see how Nessie grew up. He was attending to Seattle College. He would come at least twice a week to check the pack, his sister and her mother who was with Charlie now, they got married almost two years ago; Nessie looked beautiful carrying the wedding rings. I in the other hand was in Port Angeles Thech College. It was difficult for me to stay away from Nessie for much time.

She was a senior in high school. She started going school two years ago, when her growth stopped being that accelerated; of course she didn´t have to make a big effort to get the higher grades in the whole school. We would spend most of our time together. I would often pick her up at school, and then go somewhere and do different things. Sometimes cliff diving, other running, to the movies, hiking. We would always hunt together, I had already got used to hunt, of course in my wolf form; and it was actually fun with her. We always made contests of who hunted the bigger or who ran the faster. We would do our shores together, we did everything together. I even go shopping with her, Alice and Rosalie; she liked going shopping. I was always willing to do anything to please her.

In the Cullen´s house everything was almost the same. Since Nessie was born, I spent most of my time there. She changed our lives. Mostly mine. Rosalie has mellowed her character, of course we keep messing up each other but just for fun, I had a full repertoire of dumb blonde´s jokes. She was in a trip to Germany with Emmett. He and I had become great friends, he is the most easy going of the family, and it was _my _family too now; who would have thought that? Me a bloodsucker lover!

Carlisle and Esme had moved to Seattle three months ago. He was working in the hospital over there. They would come every week to visit the family and to see how Nessie is growing every time slower. Alice and Jasper were spending some time with the Amazonas. Nessie had wanted to go, but I was in finals at college, so she decided not to go this time; it was not that I didn´t "let her" go. I could say that it was as difficult for her as it was for me to spend much time apart from each other.

This was a fact that, apparently, seems to bother Edward and Bella. They haven´t got used to the idea of me as a son-in-law. Especially Bella. I still remember the day I told her, how she almost chews Seth´s leg, when he jumped between us. Edward was more understanding; he knew how things really were, he could see that in our mind, in _my _mind. Of course, I didn´t see myself as their son-in-law. I was Nessie´s best friend, her confident. And she was my friend and my confident too; she knew things of me that only my pack knew, not because I told them, but because it was impossible to hide it from them. She knew me as well as me, or even better. I could not see her in a different way than that, my confident; I could not see her as more than that. Or at least, that´s what I thought.


	3. Chap 2 Jacob POV

When I am not with her, I'm always thinking about her, even in my dreams. Around two months ago, I was in P.A. coming from college, it was a sunny day; I was in my way to pick Nessie up at school. I was thankful that she wasn´t that freak as Bella and the others under the sun, not that it bothered me, just that she wouldn´t have to stay indoors in a beautiful sunny day like this just to pretend she´s normal like other kids. None of us were normal. She would be able to go school, go anywhere any day; didn´t matter the weather. She could even go to the beach –a real beach, with sunlight and palm trees, no like the one in the reservation– and get tan, if the last one was possible.

Involuntarily, I stopped in this thought. I imagined us besides each other, me a swimsuit and she in a bikini running all over the shore; the waves and the palm trees sounding like the most beautiful of her compositions in our ears; our feet under the sand as we run the fasts I can at my human pace. Then I stopped to glance at the sky; the sun is upon is heating my already hot skin; I looked back at her to see her shine under the sun, but she´s not there.

The anguish riddled me, like never before, I start looking everywhere without finding her. When I was about to phase, she launched into my back and we fell together, she was on top of me laughing harder than ever, a laugh too in relief.

And then I stared at her. It was like nothing in the world existed besides us; her hair, along the side she was supported on; her skin, shinning under the sunlight, the most beautiful thing I have ever seen; her laugh was still sounding, like heaven´s bells, like the most perfect melody in the universe.

I met her eyes and she met mine and stopped laughing, hers were honey colored almost brown. I had never noticed before that form of her eyes was perfect, everything about her was perfect. I reached my hand to her shoulder; her skin was soft as silk. I pulled her into my arms and hugged her. I wanted so much to stay that way with her forever, never move unless necessary.

By this moment I was already in the school, I hadn´t notice it. I was I the parking lot for guests in the same place as always. How did I get here? I asked to myself, I shrugged. I got out of the car to breathe some fresh air, and there she was; talking to some friends while waiting for me. _She_ was waiting for _me_. She always waits for you at the same time stupid! – A voice sounded in my head.

Why she looked different this afternoon? Like shining, radiant could I say? Of course, it was sunny. She glanced at me smiling and waved. No it wasn´t for the sun, was her smile brighter when she looked at me? She walked toward the car in a human pace smiling like she was making fun of something.

Hi Jake!! – She said before got to the car, she launched onto me in a big hug.

I hug her back, we were match, and the top of her head was right under my chin. I bared my face in her hair to kiss her. Her smell; even thought what we were, and how she was supposed to smell to me, this has been my favorite essence since she was born; but in this moment, it was everything a wanted to breathe for the rest of my life.

What that hell was going on with me? What the hell was I thinking? The rest of my life? WTF? She leaned back to kiss my cheek, I pushed her back softly, something I wasn´t used to. She stared at me and touched my bare arm, the touch felt like nothing before. Then I was seeing myself against the car in this same parking lot, with a face of idiot and stupid. She was showing me how she saw me while she was coming three minutes ago. She had notice my face was different. Of course she had!

You looked funny – she giggled meting my eyes. I look away. Perfect, she thought I looked funny. Of course she thought that I was funny. _I_ was what she was making fun of.

What were you thinking? – She cut my thoughts.

Ahh? – I said like a retarded. She smiled again, looking to the floor.

You look, besides funny – she said meting my eyes again – I don´t know, thoughtful, absentminded. – Damn it! She knew me so well.

Do you think? – was the only I could managed to say. This was going to be difficult.

Yeap! – She said nodding.

We got into the car. When we out the parking lot she asked.

So – she said looking through the window – What was it?

What was what? – I asked confused looking at the street in front of me.

What you were thinking? – She said in a low voice looking at her hands in the top of her laps.

I pulled my eyebrows together knowing she would notice and understand that I didn´t want to talk about it, not even with her. Especially not with _her_. I knew she got it when she turned on the radio and put her favorite CD in the CD player.

What I was going to say to her? That I was fantasizing awake? That I was fantasizing about _her_? And then that her smell and her touch when she hugged me, were the most extraordinary things in the world. Yeah sure! I´m running to tell her. She would think I'm a perverted. But I wasn´t, I wasn´t thinking of her in _that_ way. What was going on with me? She was my friend and besides Bella´s daughter. She was my best friend´s daughter.

That was the precise moment I got it. _It_ was happening! How I couldn´t see it before? If it was in front of me. Stupid wolf weird things. I was still in shock when she spoke.

Hey Jake! Wake up! – She seemed relieved when I shook my head like clearing it – Damn it Jake! What´s going on with you? – That was exactly the answer I had just given myself, that´s why I was like I was.

Umm… sorry Nessie – I said – I was just, er… thinking

Really?! – Her tone was sarcastic, thought she wasn´t mad.

Eh yeah… - I said searching for an excuse to dish our afternoon together. I couldn´t think with her by my side – I have to… eh… I have to go to my place. – I said in front of her house, not meeting her gaze.

Ok – she said – I´ll go with you, I'd like to see Billy

Eh... no, he´s…er. – What could I say? - I'm going to meet the pack – I said in a rush. She liked to hang out with the pack, but when it was a meeting she respected that.

Ah…- she said confused. – I didn´t know – Damn it again! She knew when, where and what about the pack´s meetings were.

Eh…yeah... umm I forgot to tell you, It was umm… a last minute meeting.

Uh. Ok – she seemed sad. It hurt me to see her that way. I could hold on with my confusion for a while, when she slept I could think with clarity. – Well… I guess I'll see you when you come back. – She said after a while looking down.

Eh yeah… I guess so – she leaned over me to hug me, then she pulled over and I could see drop rolling down her face. I wanted to stop her, but I couldn´t, she ran into the house.

What I was doing? You made her cry! You´re a beast! The voice in my head was screaming. But why she had run off crying? I barely spoke. Was something wrong with her and I was too distracted in my own thoughts to see it? This possibility was craving my stomach. Anything that could hurt her would hurt me.

I couldn´t control myself. I ran into the house after her.

Bella and Esme were there. Carlisle and Esme were visiting. Edward and Carlisle were seeing a plot of land for a new property that I didn´t know what it was for.

Bella catched me in the door, with her cold hand in my arm. I stared at her astonished at her attitude. Her eyes were furious; it came a growl under her chest with bare teeth.


	4. Chap 3 Jacob POV

What did you _do_ Jacob?! – She growled at me. This wasn´t her usual behavior.

What did I _do_? – I repeated in disbelief. Esme came at her side soothing Bella by the arm.

Bella, honey… calm down - Bella dropped her hand, closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Then she opened her eyes and sighted me.

What happened before you got here? In the car? – She met my gaze waiting for an answer. What could I answer? Tell the truth you idiot! The annoying voice in my head told me. I wasn´t getting used to it.

Eh… ok I picked her up at school – as always – but I was absentminded, so really don´t know what was what upset her… - I said looking away. And it was true, I didn´t know why she was upset; I didn´t even know _if_ she was upset, or sad or mad or anything. That´s why I was here. – She ran off the car crying – I continued – but I don´t know why. Honestly Bella I don´t know if it was my fault, I don´t even remember getting here. – I cut off looking away again.

Of course I couldn´t. the only thing I could remember was her smell, her laugh, her eyes, hair, hands… STOP!! The voice in my head again, Focus yourself!! Yes sir. I said stupidly to myself.

Ok, then go talk to her – she said – she would talk to go, she always do. – Why she was doing that to me? I could not go upstairs and talk to her without looking like a perfect retarded.

Bella I think _you_ should go and talk to her – I sighted looking for an excuse – I think she need her mother more than her friend in this moment.

How would you know? Weren´t you absentminded? – She stared at me suspicious I didn´t meet her gaze – Ok Jacob, what´s going on?

What? Nothing is going on Bella – I lied

Then, why do you tell me that she needs her mother rather than her friend?

Because, even though I wasn´t paying attention I know her – I said almost yelling. – I know her enough to know that if she ran off me, she would not like to see me right know!! – This hurt more than I expected.

I knew her as well as she knew me, enough to tell it was true. But why she had run off me in the first place? Because I wasn´t paying attention of what she was saying? I didn´t know but I had to emend it.

I´m sorry Bella. – I told her – I didn´t have to acted that way, it´s not your fault. But I just can´t stand seeing her that way. – I looked at her. Her eyes were wide with fury and her jaw was tight.

What´s wrong Bella? – I asked. She took another deep breath trying to calm herself.

Jacob, - she sighted – how do feel about Renesmee? – She said every word slowly. Ok, there I got my answer about what was wrong. She had realized why I was so absentminded. That is what was wrong. Esme went to the kitchen when she realized she shouldn't stay in this part of the conversation. I wished she had stayed, at least there would be someone to stop Bella when she attacked me.

Bella – I could not tell her, she would´ve ripped my head off right away. But I could tell her, in certain degree, after all she knew the truth – you know how I feel, I mean everybody knows. Except for her – I murmured.

I wish Edward was here right now. At least he would tell me the truth.

Bella I'm telling you the truth – obviously not all of it, but it counted right? – But, where this question came from? – I asked to distract her. She seemed hesitant.

I don´t know – she told me looking away – I just thought it was time.

Time? Time of what? – I asked confused.

Come on Jake as if you don´t know – she said still looking away – time for you and Nessie. – She looked like she didn´t wanted to say it.

Oh… oh!!... I understand – I looked away too – hey when it happens you will be the first to know, if Edward isn´t around. – She finally smiled. And hugged me, a little strong.

Ouch! – I said laughing.

Ups! I´m sorry… I love you Jake, you will always be my best friend.

And you will always be mine Bells… I love you too. – We stood that way for a moment.

Now, - she said pulling off of me – go and talk to Nessie, she needs a _friend_.

I went to her room. My heart was beating faster than it used to. I told myself that I wouldn´t be distracted by anything, so I took I deep breath to clear my head and got into the room.

I stayed in the door frame, staring at her. She was sitting on the bench by the window, looking through it I don´t know what. I could see a tear coming down her cheek. That destroyed me. I almost ran to put her safe into my arms, where nobody could hurt her. I imagined her there, holding me too, where I could touch her soft skin, and smell my favorite essence. I stopped right away before my internal voice told me so.

I walk toward the window. Then I reach my hand to touch her arm. She turned in my direction looking surprised, like she hadn´t heard me. She stood up in a blur and ran into my arms, when I had imagined her just seconds before.

The few tears I had saw in her face, turned into a weeping. I had never seen her cry like this. Was because of me? Was _my_ fault? The thought made me felt worst than I already was, seeing her crying that way. I had to emend this. Was it or not my fault.

I took her head in my right hand without break her embrace, to look at her deep eyes. I swallow to the encounter. She had stopped crying. I could speak better that way, I said in a low voice.

Nessie, I - I wasn´t sure what I was going to say, should I tell her how I felt? What if she didn´t wanted me? No! The annoying voice again. But it was right; I had to find out why she was crying for. – I want to know… eh... Why are you crying? – I said the last part in a blur. She was sobbing again. I sucked at this.

I don´t know Jake – she managed to say – I don´t even know why I'm crying. – She said hiding her head against my chest. My heart almost exploited.

Shh… don´t worry honey. It´s ok, it´s ok – I caress her hair with one hand and the other holding her against me – cry everything you want, it´s ok. I´m here, I won´t go, I'm here.

The time pasted so fast when I was with her, I didn´t notice when Carlisle an Edward arrived almost at night. We were on the floor in her room; I was cooing her the same way my mom used to do to me when I was scared. When she fell asleep, I carried her to the bed, resigned to let her sleep when she murmured – Don´t go Jake, don´t leave me. Stay with me. Please – these words made my heart stopped beating and the restart in a rush. I knew she would have hear that if she hadn´t been sleep again by the time she finished saying the words. I laid down by her side nestling her in my arms, making her safe again.


	5. Chap 4 Jacob POV

I didn´t notice I had felt asleep too, until I wake up with the sunlight shining through the window and I realized I was in Nessie´s room in her bed with _her_. I was in my own heaven, with her in my arms. Just like my fantasy in the beach, just that this was no fantasy. It was real. I could lay like this forever; seeing her sleep, knowing she was safe, and we were together.

My forever was over when Edward knocked the door and then came in.

His expression wasn´t shocked by fact of seeing a werewolf and his daughter together in her bed, he had surely seen it in my mind. But still was a harsh expression. He glared at me with a mix of emotions I couldn´t read in his face.

He asked me to join him for a run in a low voice to not wake up Nessie. – _And if she wake up and don´t see me here?_ – I ask in my thoughts, I knew he would know. At this point, is not that I was used to all their weird things, but at least it didn´t bother me. The only thing that had never disturbed me, was Nessie´s gift, nothing coming from her could ever upset me.

Don´t worry – he said pulling his eyebrows together – Bella and Esme are here, they would tell her.

_But I promised her I would stay_ – I thought.

Jacob, I _need_ to talk to you. _Please_ – he said, forcing himself to be polite. This had to be important; he wouldn´t being _forcing _himself to be polite unless it _was _important.

It is important – he answer to my thought.

I nodded. I got out the bed carefully not to wake up Nessie and kissed her on the forehead. I saw her smiled and Edward cleared his throat. I haven´t notice he was still there until I turned around and saw him watching me with folded arms.

It was in that moment I realized _what_ he wanted to talk with me.

We got out the house without saying anything. Of course he would know what I was thinking and, as always, I was thinking of her. I phased a few miles away the house to keep up with his pace.

We ran into the deepest of the forest for a moment. He slowed the pace and I did it too, then he stopped a few miles of a clearing. I stood behind and phasedd back to my human form. We got into a meadow, surrounded by trees, as everything in there. The sunlight was brilliant; of course, he was it too under the shining sun.

We stood like that for a few long minutes, too long for me. Patience had never been one of my best qualities and he perfectly knew that. So I spoke first.

Look, I might not read mind ok? But I know why we came for. I know you already know it. And it might not like you but – he cut me off.

Jacob – he looked hesitant, it was not common in him – Jacob I love my daughter, you know that right? – I nodded.

I also know her better than anyone – he looked at me with expressive eyes – well, _almost_ anyone. She shows people what she wants to. But I can see too much further than what she wants to show. – Of course he did, but I could see his point. I looked at him with understanding eyes.

I want the best in the world for her. I could never think that any men would be good enough for her.

I think I know what you mean Edwa… – he didn´t let me finish.

No, you do not know what I am saying – he seemed almost frustrated – you are not keeping up Jacob. – I looked at him confused.

He grabbed the arch of his nose with his thumb and index finger. A moment passed and I was getting impatient again, I had to work on that.

Jacob –he hesitated again and then restarted – Jacob you have to leave – Edward said. I stared at him in disbelief. I though his was kidding but then he met my gaze.

I am being very serious Jacob – I obviously could not read minds, well apart from Sam´s and my pack´s. But I could see his face there was not a trace of doubt in his furious eyes.

He had really just asked me to leave? _He _of all the people. He that knew every single thought of my mind. What? What the hell was he thinking? I cannot leave Nessie. I will not leave Nessie.

Yes, you can, and you _have to_ – He answered to my thoughts.

Edward, I'm sorry – I finally said, looking his eyes, which already knew what I was going to say - I know you are her father, but I can´t do that. You should know better than anyone that I can´t.

If we hadn't been improving our relationship all these years, I would say he would have killed me right away. But I knew that more than anger and fury, it was fear in his eyes. The fear of any father that her only daughter might get hurt. But _he_ better than anyone must know that I would never do anything that hurt Renesmee. She is all for me in the world. If everything stopped existing, I wouldn´t care as long I were with her.

Interrupting my thoughts, which I was sure he heard, he said:

Well I am sorry Jacob, but you will _have_ to find a way to do it – I couldn´t believe he was really saying this. I looked at him.

Do you remember how you felt when you left Bella? – I said in a low voice. His face changed from fear, anger and fury, to pain.

Yes, I do. – He whispered – But that is not the point. It was different. – He said trying to hide the face of pain.

No, it wasn´t. It _is_ not different. – I said in a harsh voice. – How did _Bella_ feel when you left? – Now I could see in his face the pain I've only seen once, when he asked me to tell Bella to have an abortion, while she had the center of my life I the womb. Of course I didn´t know everything would turn to be perfect.

Well I see you remember, _I _remember too. – I put some of the worst memories of those months in my mind. How Bella used to hold her every time someone said his name.

I never thought his face could reflect more pain, but it did. - _I'm sorry._ – I thought.

I did it only because I thought it was the best for her – He said trying to control himself.

What I wanted to say – I said calmly – Is that I love her and I know she loves me, I know we belong to each other – I could see his face in disgust and his hand going in fists – and I know, that if I leave her it would hurt her. And I promise to never hurt her.

Jacob, I know you can notice this _fact_ upsets me – he said with his jaw pressed – but I am not saying you have to leave forever – I stared at him confused, not knowing what he was saying – what I mean – he clarified – is that she is confused, I am trying to give her some space, but I cannot help hearing her thoughts – he said pulling his eyebrows together - even if I don´t want to. – He seemed thoughtful.

She is changing I more ways that we, well _you _can see, I can get into her mind – his face was not comfortable, a minute passed – and her thoughts of you are changing too.

What are you saying? She doesn´t loves me? – I was shocked by the fact that this was a possibility.

I guess that is up to her if she wants to tell you what she is thinking, please don´t ask me to tell you that – was he pleading?

Do you think I should talk to her? – I wanted to, but didn´t know what to say, what if this was true? What if she didn´t love me?

Jake I think you should give her some space, everyone should, especially you. This is being difficult for her; she needs time by her own.

I left without saying anything, is not that he wouldn´t know what I was thinking, but I couldn´t speak.

I wasn´t able to see myself away from Nessie. Since she was born, I´ve never spent a day without seeing her, it was hard for me, and even stay apart from her, for any length of time hurts. While she slept I would stay close to the house, except for those nights when Edward and Bella went too lovely with each other. Today when I woke up by her, I felt I had everything I wanted in the world.

But if this was for her good, she needed to think with clarity, and according to Edward, I wasn´t putting that to her very easy. It didn´t matter how much I suffered, it didn´t matter how much I would miss her. I had to convince myself that it was the best for her, to stay away from me. What I was saying? I couldn´t stay away from her, even if she could, I was not that strong. – NO!! – The voice sounding in my head. This is for her. You can do this for her. You _have _to do this for _her_.

I started to run, but it wasn´t fast enough. I phased in a blur; no one was there in my mind. Where were Leah and Seth? I didn´t mind, this way I could think without any interruption. I ran faster. The faster I could, not feeling the dirt in my claws, not seeing the trees left behind me, not hearing the birds, the squirrels, mice and every single animal in the forest.

I wasn´t heading anywhere in specific or had any time to come back. I just wanted to run, run away alone. Well not alone, the only person that wouldn´t bother me to run with in this moment, would have been Nessie. The only person I wanted to run with forever was _her._

I have always loved to run by her side, as a wolf or human, it didn´t matter; I was with her. In the last months, I knew something was changing. I didn´t stopped worrying for her while she hunted or wile she ran, like I did when she was a child; but I notice that I started seeing her more, even before my fantasy yesterday. I didn´t see her the same way, not as I always had.

I would see how her honey colored hair moved with the wind and touched her lovely face when she run; how the glow of her soft and marveled skin under the sun seem to be more beautiful than ever; the grace she had while hunting, every single movement seem like the most beautiful dance I'd ever seen; when she spoke it was the most perfect sound I the world; and her laughs were like heaven´s bells sent to play the most exquisite melody.

I stopped near the river, not knowing how I got there, and phased right away. I sat in the shore, and then lay back in the grass. I knew what all these changes were about. And even thought I knew since the first time I saw her in Rosalie's arms, and confirmed that fact the first time she call me _her Jacob_, that we were meant to be together; that I would be with her for the rest of my life. I couldn´t help myself of thinking in the possibility that she didn´t want me that way. What I would do if so? Could I be able to stay away from her if she wanted me to? I didn´t know, and I didn´t want that time to come.

But yesterday I was positive, or at least I thought I was, that she wanted me, that she loved me too. She asked me to stay with her, she didn´t want me to leave her. How could I leave if I had promised her I wouldn´t do it? I couldn´t break my promise.

I was so focused in my thoughts, I didn´t hear the footsteps behind me, till she was by my side. She sat beside me and folded her legs. The sun was radiant upon us, her skin shone under it.

Jake – she looked at me with her wide topaz eyes, I liked more when Bella´s eyes were chocolate brown – You seem depressed. I'm worried about you. This has to be about Nessie crying yesterday? – She asked looking to the ground. I didn't answer.

I talked to Edward; he told me what you two spoke.

And you are here to tell me too that I should leave, that I should left her alone – I said, guessing. She looked away, to the empty space. After a few minutes she answered.

No – this surprised me, when I told her about I imprinting with Nessie, she got as mad as I had never seen her. With the time she accepted – not in its totality – that it wasn´t my fault, it was something that I could not control. Even yesterday her reaction wasn´t the best. But _this _was new to me. – No – she repeated – I didn´t come here to say that you should or have to leave.

Ok – I said, not knowing what else could I say. I was still in shock.

Look Jake – she seem hesitant – I know what it feels to be in love, is the more beautiful feeling in the world. Probably you are not in love with Nessie – by this I knew Edward had suppressed some details. If she only knew that Nessie, _her daughter_, was the only thing I could think of – but you will; you better than I, should know that imprinting is not a thing you can run of. – trust me, I know. I said to myself. She waited a minute before speak again.

But I also know what it feels to be left by the most important thing in your life. You saw me in my worst moments. – We both twisted at the memories – I would never wish that to anyone, especially not to my own daughter. – she met my eyes, full of understanding – She loves you Jake, but you have to comprehend that she doesn´t understand what is happening to her, way she sees you in a different way. She is changing Jake.

Bella –I spoke – I'm changing too – she seemed confused, I clarified – Bella do you really think that I like to see her the way I do? Do you think that I like to think of her in a different way I have always had? I mean I do but... – I said in a rush, her eyes popped – sorry, but the point is that, I don´t want to think about her in that way, not yet, not while she is not prepared. – I murmured looking to the ground.

Jake I am not saying you should go, I'm just saying you should give her some space. You and Edward. – I looked at her confused. She seemed a little mad – she wouldn´t be able to think with Edward around her. – It seemed so obvious I didn´t see it.

I know I should, and I will. I´m just, making my mind.

I looked at her all blushed for what I was about to say. But she was my friend, I could tell her this, of course it was a little awkward because it was about her daughter. But I promised her she would be the first to know.

Bella –I hesitated, and then I tried again.

Bella I love her, she is the only reason for me to live. I wake up every morning only to see her face again, even if I had just seen it in my dreams. She is why in the first moment; when I thought you were my real love and that I had lost you; I didn´t left the house of those leeches I hated so much, not offence. – She looked at me with a smile.

Even when you were pregnant, - I continued – Do you remember how we could not be apart? Or how you felt every time you saw me? That was because of _her_. You felt it too Bella, you felt it too – I cut it off with a tear and then looked away.

When she looked at me, her expression was unreadable. Her eyebrows were pulled together.

Let´s go – she said standing up, I raise my face.

Where are we going? - I asked.

To the house. – She looked at me with an expression of apology

Edward asked me to try to convince you to leave – I glared at her in disbelief.

I am sorry. Don´t be mad at him, he is just trying to do what he _thinks_ is the best for her. He wants to protect her.

Overprotect, I would say. He´s always trying to do what he _thinks _is the best for everyone. – I said in a sarcastic tone – just because he can read everybody´s thoughts it doesn´t mean that´s what people want.

Of course that´s what he asked me – she looked at me with a craft smile – but I didn´t promise anything. – She stood motionless for a while, like a perfect statue.

Nessie is my daughter – She finally said with a meditative aspect – and I want the best for her. – She looked at me smiling.

_You_ are the best for her Jake.

I was glad and relieved she thought of me that way. But it was Nessie who had to make that choice. Bella took a deep breath, is not that she needed.

It is time for Renesmee to know the truth.


	6. Chap 5 Jacob POV

I phased I few seconds after Bella was gone, knowing she would get home before me. The word she had said kept running through my mind... i would finally tell Nessie all the truth. And even thought I was anxious to get there the fastest to see her face again, I could not run too fast, I could not run _at all_. I had to focus on the trees and the roots that stuck out the ground. I found myself tangle with my front legs. I felt a few times, something that had never happened to me before. I was nervous, _too _nervous.

My heart throbbed against my chest as never before. Everything I was feeling was absolutely new to me. Not even when I declared my love to Bella or the only time she had kissed me back, so many years ago, I had felt the way I felt in that moment.

I tried to concentrate on every step I took, one by one, to not see me in the dirt again. I had thought of this day so many times, even when I didn´t feel about Nessie how I felt in that instant; I knew this time some day would come. I had thought of every different ways I could explain her everything.

Now the day had finally arrived, neither of the ideas I had prepared infinite times, seemed to be good enough. I wanted it to be perfect.

Despite I was focused in how I was going to tell her, I couldn´t help myself of thinking about the only thing that really mattered; he reaction. The only thing that could destroy my indefinite existence.

What if she didn´t wanted me? I hadn´t respond to myself to that question, what I would do if that was the case? Could I stay away from her? Or if she didn´t loved me, but she wanted me to stay with her as her friend; could I endure that? I had to stop to clarify my mind.

Ok, if she didn´t loved me the way I loved her, I could stay as her friend if she wanted me to; I can endure that – Yes you can!! You would _have to_ – The sound of the voice sounded more convinced that I was. But there was the other side of the coin.

What if… what if she didn´t wanted me to stay around? Could I get away from her? It would hurt like nothing in the world, acid with lemon and salt in an open wound would be welcomed with arms wide open. But, if that was what she wanted, it didn´t matter how miserable I was or how damned my life would become without her in it. I _had to _convince myself it didn´t matter. All that matter is her happiness.

The last one could not be an option after what she had told me the day before. She _wanted _me to stay. She had asked me not to leave, and I promised her I wouldn´t.

I was about two miles from the house, already in my human form. The sunset had already passed. I was hesitant to get into the house, when Edward came by my side. His face was unreadable. I hadn´t seen that face before. He tied to composed it at my though, and then struggled to say what he wanted to.

Jacob – he sight – I am truly sorry for what I said. You must understand that I did it because I really thought that was the best for her. – He was looking to the ground.

It´s ok Edward – he already knew that – I know why you did it. I would probably have done the same in your place. You actually gave many things to think about.

I know you would stay away if it was the best for her or if she wanted to, not caring about the way you would feel– his eyes were years away – we are more alike than I thought – he looked at me with sympathy. – That is why I think you should get inside and tell Renesmee everything.

Thank you Edward – those words meant more for me than I expected.

He cross the space between us and hugged me for the first time. I hugged him back. I could imagined Emmett´s reaction if he would have been here or if knew about this moment. Edward chuckled at the thought saying.

Yeah… eh we probably should keep this moment between us. – He said punching my arm.

Yeah! We should.

We headed to the house. Perfect, Alice and Jasper had come back. And with them Zafrina too. How I was supposed to tell Nessie everything with seven pairs of ultra sensitive ears around us. Edward looked at me and knowing him, he was planning something.

As we enter to the house I could smell everyone was there with two exceptions, Alice and Nessie, I didn´t asked for them. Jasper stared at me immediately alerted by every feeling of mine. Edward gave him a look that it was alright. _Thank you _- I thought already feeling kind of dizzy, it felt good to be finally calm. Jasper was being very helpful.

I could smell that Zafrina, Esme, Carlisle and Bella. They were in the living room talking about who knows what. I headed over there, along with Edward and Jasper, with the hope that my sense had tricked me and that she was there. It was only hope I had, she wasn´t there. We got into the room.

Hello my child – Zafrina said in her harsh accent.

Hi Zafrina! How are Kachiri and Senna? – I asked to be polite.

They are very good. Thank you for ask. They preferred to stay at home, we have some visitors. – Her expression and Edward's went harden – Huilen and Nahuel decided to visit us, they wanted to come too. – I sighted

Ummm… how are they? – I said, ha! As I cared!

I still remember the last time they came here, about one and a half year ago. How the stupid leech bloodsucker of Nahuel tried to persuade Renesmee that they were made for each other. Just because they were from the specie, didn´t meant that was true.

Even thought Nessie had never told me, I knew she felt different, more different than usual. When Nahuel came and told her all that tall stories, I thought she would listen to him. I´m still wondering why she didn´t go with him. I´m relieved she didn´t.

They are ok – Zafrina said – How is the pack? – She asked changing the subject.

It seemed like months since I´ve spoke with the pack and the last time had been only yesterday before go to college. I tried to answer.

Everyone is ok – I told her about Seth in college, Sam´s and Emily´s new baby and every news, I could think of in that moment, about both packs.

I am so very happy that it hadn´t been any trouble around here in while. You deserved a break after everything that happened – she said going back to the past.

It is impressive how you power has grown – she stated, addressing to Bella.

Yes, it is impressive – Edward restated – I finally got a look of her mind – he said, looking at Bella – of course, she only let me read what she wants me to. – He said frustrated.

At least I let you see _some_ things. – Bella said to Edward.

Not enough for me to not become crazy. – I rolled my eyes.

Just like our Nessie – I react to the name, looking at Zafrina who had said this. – She only shows the things she wants to show.

Hum… interesting – Carlisle said.

Very interesting indeed – Edward assured him.

What you said Zafrina, made me think – he told all of us – you see, we had always wondered, how the different extra abilities that some of us have work. Nessie´s gift could, possibly, be a combination between Edward´s gift and Bella´s.

Mine? – Bella asked surprised – but if our abilities are totally opposites. She shows and I hide. – I laugh.

Actually – Edward interrupted – she does not show everything. – He said staring at me.

Exactly – Carlisle continued ignoring the exchange – she has inverted Edward's gift, he can see inside our minds, while she shows us what is in hers. Besides she has taken some of Bella´s ability to block her mind, and converted it in order to show only what she wants to show.

Carlisle´s theory had left me something to think of while they kept talking about how Bella´s ability has grown. I stopped listening when she said that it was every time easier to unlock her mind and that she didn´t need to touch Edward to let him see was she was thinking. Esme interrupted their conversation, and my thoughts, looking ashamed.

Jake – I looked at her – I made you some food. It´s evening and you haven´t even took breakfast. – She looked like she was scolding one of her sons. I hadn´t realized I was hungry until she said so.

I am sorry Esme, I had many things in my mind – she gave a look to Edward – I wasn´t hungry – I assured her – But know I am. Thank you! – I gave her my bigger smile, it was impossible not to do it.

I ate absentminded, as I did everything these days. I washed the dish, and I took a glass full of water. I was heading to the living room aging when I saw Nessie sitting on the huge white sofa, floating I supposed was one of Zafrina´s illusions. I was so buried in my own thoughts I haven´t heard them coming in.

I had to act normal. She didn´t knew anything. Of course she doesn´t!! That´s why you are going to tell her. I didn´t know what to do to banish the voice in my mind. How do you kill a voice?

Trust me, you can´t – Edward answered laughing.

Hum thanks for the tip! – _What do I do? _– I ask him with my thoughts.

Ehm Nessie? – He asked her like nothing was happening – would you mind to go with Jacob to the plot of land I showed you? I would like it to have the approval of everybody in the family, including Jake. – I knew this was what he was planning before, how to give me some time alone with Nessie to tell her.

Yes dad, no prob. – she doubted for a moment then she asked him – can we go in aunty Alice´s porche? – She gave him her best puppy look. I was melted right away. I would tell yes to anything she asked if she gave me that look. Edward rolled his eyes. I couldn´t tell if it was at her look or at my thought.

Nope – Edward answer her casually.

Ok – she said with a fake sadness and after a minutes she asked – Jake? Do we go?

I nodded. _Thank you_ – I said to Edward. He gave me a look. I couldn´t speak. How I was going to do this? I had to speak at some time. We were finally alone in the car.

Doing more than one thing at the same time in this moment was difficult for me. I managed to speak while driving.

So, where were you? – I said. She didn´t answered – Only girls out? - I tried again clearing my throat.

Uhm… sorry? – She asked.

Where were you? Before? – I wasn´t getting anything of this.

Uhmm... Don´t know, just around, wandering. – She looked nervous too. Why? What was she thinking in this moment?

Eh… Ok – I didn´t have something else to say?

Of course I had many other things to say, like that I loved her for example, but I didn´t know how to say it.

We got to the place we were heading. I didn´t notice if it was pretty or if it was big, wide, spacious or the entire contrary. I could barely concentrate in walking without stumble over my own feet. And I had to organize my thoughts before speaking. I did my best, though it wasn´t enough. But I was not able to do anything more.

Renesmee – she looked at me surprised. I couldn´t tell if it was because I call her by her full name, which I did not do very often; or if it was because I had cut off her thoughts. I saw I little blush on her cheeks. With my heart beating till tachycardia and my skin hotter than ever. I touched her shoulder with my trembling hand.

Nessie – I soothed – we need to talk.


	7. Preface Renesmee POV

I´m an addicted.

Not to drugs. Not to alcohol. No even to sex or the game.

I´m addicted to a man.

A man with no equal, a man unique in the world.

A man who only see me as a child.

Love.

There are infinite kinds of love. Love for family, love for oneself, love for friends…

I always wanted to experiment to love somebody in a different way.

When I finally made it, I never thought it would turn into an addiction.

But, how do avoid a feeling of such magnitude?

It´s impossible… Nobody can go against of what the heart dictate.

How do you pretend to be deaf, if you hear screaming all around?

How do you pretend to be blind, if you can see the beauty of life in his eyes?

Love. A feeling without reason.

The ones that prefer the good sense and flee from insanity are unable to feel the real love.


	8. Chap 6 Renesmee POV

I had always felt different between the different. Mom and Dad, grandpa Carlisle and grandma Esme, auntie Alice and Jasper, auntie Rose and Emmett, grandpa Charlie and Sue; all of them had each other. Even Jake!! Well, he didn´t had anyone like _that_, not that I knew. But at least he had the pack. He wouldn´t feel such as freak as _I am._

I was like the duck-billed platypus, neither oviparous nor mammal. Neither human nor vampire. Just an aberration!

You´re not a freak honey – grandma Esme had said when she saw me sad once.

I touched her and showed her that everyone in the family had their equal but me.

Sweetheart, of course you have equals.

I knew that, but it didn´t make me feel better. I wasn´t the only of my kind. I had heard stories from everyone, about how is that I was alive. I had a few memories; but I couldn´t remember everything about the epic _almost battle_, since Emmett, against The Volturi.

I knew that in South America some crazy incubus vampire had four kids if we can be named _kids_. They were three females and one male. This fact made me feel less a freak, or at least not the only one. I wanted to meet them; you know to exchange thoughts from kook to kook.

A few months ago. Tow visitors arrived, vampires of course. A female and a male. Everyone in the family knew them. Mom told me that I knew them too though I didn´t remembered. She clarified that they were the two vampires that had come with Alice and Jasper the day The Volturi almost killed me. Actually, they weren´t two vampires, they were a vampire and a half. The female, Huilen, she was the full vampire. Nahuel, the male, was like me. A duck-billed platypus.

He was kind of nice. Though some things he told me really bothered and at the same time made me think. He told me that we belonged each other because we were equals and that we _had_ to stay together for all that equal thing. He even told me to leave with him.

I knew exactly how he felt, about that we were equals and all that but I didn´t want to be with him in that way. And even if a wanted to, which I didn´t; I would have miss my family. I would have miss Jake. Especially Jake. I knew I would have survived without my family, but not without Jake. They left a week after I said no to him.

Everybody in my family knew how I felt, so they treated me with condescension; that bothered me. I knew they didn´t do it to make me feel worst, just didn´t know what was in my mind. Well, obviously, my dad did know, so he wasn´t included in the package. Though Jake couldn´t read my mind, he wasn´t including in the package either.

He understood me better that anyone, even better that my father who knew all of my thoughts.

I supposed it was because we spent most of our time together. I loved being with him. He was so funny; he always made me laugh when he saw me sad or just because.

I remember when I was little, I only liked human blood. I knew it was against our believes, and he knew it too. So he would hunt with me and invented silly games like – I bet I grab the bigger – I liked those silly games. He made of something I didn´t liked that much, something pleasant.

He taught me cliff diving when I was supposedly eight, so it would be around three years after I was born, I guess. This was one of my favorite things in the world. Feel the wind touching my skin, the sense of freedom. There was nothing compared in the whole world. It was amazing. We would often do it with Leah, Seth, Quil, and Embry. All the pack and me. We all hung out frequently. I liked being with them, though I liked more were it was just Jake and me.

We would do new things every day, nothing in specific. Sometimes we went to Seattle, to visit grandpa Carlisle and grandma Esme, and hang out with Seth. Other times; we dropped by grandpa Charlie´s place or by his place and spend some time with Billy. Or just run, hunt and more cliffs diving.

He would pick me up at school almost every day. When I was away from him, in classes or just chatting with my friends; I was thinking of what he could be doing or remembering what we had done.

I liked to be at school, it made me feel normal, though I missed Jake while he was at college.

I hadn´t realized I was seeing Jake like he was different. I started to notice things about him I hadn´t noticed before.

Like the way he saw me when I was speaking, bearing his eyes in mine. Or how his hair covered his eyes when he moved his head fast. How he liked being bared feet. The color of his tan skin, how it looked brilliant when he sweated. I not only noticed changes in him. I was different too.

I got nervous when I was with him or when I thought of him. I was eager to see him every day leaned by his car waiting for me outside the school, with his habitual jeans and T-Shirt that let his arms discovered. All these changes, started to make sense a day when I was talking to my friends outside the school while waiting for him, when Justin, one of the guys I was talking to, told me.

Hey Ness! How´s Jake? I haven´t seen him in a while – Jake and I used to go out not only with our supernatural friends, my friends at school used to join us at the movies or just hang out sometimes.

Really? – Paula said other of my friends – you would say you haven´t _spoke_ with him in a while. I mean, everybody see him when he comes to pick up Nessie _everyday_! – I rolled my eyes.

He´s ok Justin, we´re thinking going out next week, when he finish his finals. – I answered.

Oh! Great! – Justin said.

Seriously Nessie… - Christina, other friend, said – don't you see it?

See what? – I asked confused.

Chris… - Conner said, like trying to stop her to say something.

Come on Ness, - Chris told me, like I was missing something obvious – that guy is mad about you – I looked every way to see who she meant.

Nessie, Jacob!! – Paula and Christina yelled at the same time.

What? – I didn´t see Jake´s car anywhere, he hadn´t arrive yet. I looked again.

Oh my God Nessie! – Justin said, almost desperate. I looked at him – Are you really blind? – He asked – Jake likes you – he said every word like I was retarded.

What? Are you guys nuts? – I asked – Come on!! It´s Jake!

Ness he totally has a crush on you – Paula said looking at me.

No he´s not! – I denied.

Nessie honey, - Justin said taking me by my shoulders – look at the way he sees you. How he act when he´s around you, how he speaks, how he moves.

But… no!! – I replied shaking my head – I mean he´s… Jake – I cut off, I could not believe they were saying this. It was Jake, the wolf I used to mount like a horse. He was my best friend. He couldn't have… he couldn't have a crush on me. I couldn't like him.

You guys are crazy – I said shaking my head – I mean, he´s my best friend, he´s like a brother to me. We grew up together – is not that the last one was true, but he seemed to be around his early twenties; so everybody besides the family thought it was true.

Whatever you say Ness – Christina said rolling her eyes. They changed the subject, I didn't pay attention.

That could not be true. He was my friend, obviously not my brother; but still, he was my best friend. He had seen me since I was born, he´d seen me grew up. We had shared so much. The guys probably had said that because, we seemed like a couple from the outside, holding hands he hugged me every time he could; that´s how we were. That didn't mean anything. Did it? No, of course not. We had always been that way.

Nessie! – Justin said, shaking me by the arms – Jake´s waiting.

Ahh? – I said blinking.

Jake is waiting for you – he repeated.

Oh… ok, bye! – I waved them while walking.

Have fun with your _brother!!_ – Paula yelled. I turned back and glared at her in a way, that if she would have know I was a vampire, well half a vampire; she would have run off crying right away. I turned around and kept walking burning in range.

That last comment bothered me more that it should, I should have control myself. But he wasn't my _brother_!! He was my friend, and nothing else. He would never be more than a friend to me. I felt sad of thinking it. But I didn't want him to be more than a friend. Did I? No, I didn't.

I looked at him; he was smiling, as always he saw me. When I saw his smile, my range disappeared and my heat pounded faster than its regular rhythm. My face got hotter as a rush of blood ran to it. My hands started to sweat.

This wasn't typical in me. What was all this? He just smiled. Why my body reacted that way? It wasn't its conventional behavior at his smile or when he saw me. I shook my head to clear my mind.

Hey Ness!! – He said launching on to me in a hug before I got to the car. I hug him back.

His skin was hot as fire, as always; it was usual in him. What it was unusual, was what I felt when he hugged me and pulled me into his arms, kissing the top of my head. If I thought cliff diving was the more amazing thing in the world, I was absolutely wrong.

I felt like my mind and my body had been divided. I one hand; it was my body, experiencing everything I had felt when I saw his smile, in a much higher degree. And in the other hand, it was my mind. Flying away to the empty space, where the only thing I could see was Jake´s face. Only a few seconds had passed when he spoke again, still hugging me.

How was your day? – He asked.

Good – was the all I could say, trying to come back to reality.

Hey! You want to go to Charlie's place? – He asked exited pushing me to away to meet my eyes.

Yeah sure – I said – but I have to come back early, dad want to show me something.

Ok, no prob. – he said shrugging.

We got into the car. He grabbed my hand when we were out the parking lot. My heart throbbed. He looked at me and chuckled. I took a deep breath, I had to control myself or he would have notice.

Uhmm… what do you want to do tomorrow? – He said looking the road.

Ehm… well Rose and Emmett are traveling tomorrow to Germany – I said – so, I think we´ll go to the airport. – I paused – you´re coming, right? – I asked, suddenly unsure whether he would come or not.

Of course – he assured me with his eyebrows pulled together.

Of course he would go he´s always with me. Why had I felt unsure of his answer? It would have hurt if he had said no. I wanted to be with him.

We spent the afternoon at Charlie´s place. I was so absorbed by my thoughts; I barely notice when I answer Sue´s questions about ho was mom, dad and everyone around the house.

We stayed in the car a moment when we arrived back to the house.

Nessie – Jake said – I know something is wrong with you. Talk to me, when you are ready.

Thanks Jake- I sighted, letting him know I wasn't ready to talk. He kissed my cheek and we got out of the car. Rose was by the house door.

Hey doggy! – She said looking at Jake.

Hi Blondie! - He said slipping his hand to mine, I bit my lip. I couldn't believe that at one time they didn't get along.

Hi sweetheart – she said kissing me on the forehead

She loved me like I was her daughter. Mom told me Rose had taken care of me while she couldn't and that in the first place, when mom knew she was pregnant, the first person she had called was Rose. I love her like she was a second mother.

Hi Rose! – I answered – hey, where´s dad? He wanted to show me something.

He got out with Emmett and Carlisle.

Carlisle is here?! – I asked eager. They were supposed to arrive tomorrow.

Yes. He and Esme decided to come today, since we are going tomorrow.

I gonna miss you Rose – I said

I´m gonna you too honey.

Hey Rose – Jake said – If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first? – Rose rolled her eyes. – The brunette, the blonde would have to stop for directions! – He roared with laughter. I laugh too.

Shut up mutt!! – She said blowing his head.

Ouch! – He murmured, pawing.

Very funny Jake! – I said giggling.

Well, **why is it dangerous to tell a Vampire to get a life? – She replied, Jake shrugged – because it might take **_**yours**_**. **

Ok we got it! You both are funny – I said rolling my eyes – Is Esme inside?

Yes, she´s with Bella – She said entering to the house. Esme received me with a big hug.

Honey you look gorgeous! – She said staring at me from head to toe.

Thanks grandma.

I made you some food for you – she said addressing to me and Jake.

Thank you Esme – Jake answered touching her arm.

Hi mom – I greet her giving her a hug still with Jake´s hand in mine.

Hi darling! Hey Jake! – She said hugging me too.

Hey Bells! How you´re doing? – He said kissing her in the on the top of her head.

I have always known mom and Jake had some history together, many years ago. I knew it was in the past, they were friends now. This fact had never bothered me, until this moment.

I dropped Jake´s hand without thinking about it and went to seat in the couch in front of the TV, he followed me. Rose was there surfing the channels. I tried to keep up with her rhythm, but I was suddenly too irritated to do it. I was irritated at _him_. I could not be by his side right now. I stood up in a rush and went to the kitchen to help Esme, hopping he wouldn't come behind me, he didn't.

Why I was angry with _him_? Just minutes ago I was dreaming awake about him.

We were eating silently. I notice he saw me a few times though I didn't meet his gaze.

He finished eating quickly, as always. In the contrary, I was still eating when dad arrived few seconds before Carlisle and Emmett. _Perfect_, now my father would know everything! – _Dad I'm sorry for whatever you are going to hear in my mind while around me. I can´t help it_. – I told him in my thoughts.

His face was already harsh. Of course, he had already taken a look in my thoughts before entering to the house. –_I'm sorry_ – I repeated. Mom obviously noticed his face too, he shook his head to what I thought was a question in mom´s mind.

Hey puppy! – Emmett said shaking Jake´s hair and then mine. Jake punched Emmett's arm.

Emmett!! – I tried to catch him with my hand but he ran away laughing.

Hi grandpa! – I said.

Hi twinkle. How are you? – he asked

I´m ok – I answered.

Hey doc, how's everything in Seattle? Too much blood around the hospital? – Jake joked.

Not that much I can´t handle – Carlisle replied grinning.

Oh my God!! What was going on with me?! A moment ago I couldn't stop thinking about Jacob, then I got mad at him and now, I couldn't stop seeing him. Now that I was close to him, I could smell him better. It was a wooden smell with a touch of chocolate. I had always liked his smell, but today, it was better.

Bella can I talk to you? – Dad said with a harsh voice. Damn it! I forgot he was here. Everybody looked, at him in surprised, except for me.

Ehm… yeah, I guess so – she said shocked.

What? – Emmett asked – it´s that your new code to be you guys alone? – He said – Come on!! At least respect you daughter!! – Mom glared at him.

Everybody laughed, aside Jake and me. He was looking to the table with his eyebrows pulled together, he seemed preoccupied by what mom and that were going to talk. I knew what he was going to tell her. – _Dad please. Don´t tell her everything _– I asked in my thoughts. He nodded.

Excellent!! Now my mother was going to know what I felt for her former lover. Well dad couldn't tell her that. _I_ didn't even know what I felt for Jake. What I _felt?! _ I don't _feel_ anything for Jacob Black. I told myself.

What did I do? – Emmett said falsely repentant.

Emmett!! You shouldn't have done that, it bothers Bella. – Esme said scolding him.

Duh! That´s why I did it! – He replied.

Emmett! – Esme said again glaring at him.

Sorry momma… - he said rolling his eyes.

Mom and dad arrived after two hours. What dad had said to her? Was mom mad at me for seeing Jake that way? She didn't seem mad at least, she had a worried face. But I didn't know and I wanted to be alone where dad couldn't read my mind. I was about to run away when dad spoke.

Nessie, would you like to take a walk with me? – He asked. I nodded. Jake looked at me with his eyebrows still pulled together; he knew something was wrong with me. But he wouldn't push me to talk about it.

Jake? – I asked not meting his gaze – would you go home?

Are you gonna take long? – He asked looking at dad.

I think you should leave Jacob – he said glaring at him, Jake looked at the ground.

Just what I needed. My father was mad at him – _Dad it´s not his fault! Please, don't give him that voice _– I asked in my thoughts. He took a deep breath and got out of the house in a sprint. I gave a glance at Jake´s face, still looking to the ground; and followed dad.


	9. Chap 7 Renesmee POV

Dad you said it was a _walk_ – I complained out loud a few miles from the house. He stopped and waited for me.

Dad… I'm sorry, I swear it wasn't my… – he cut me off.

Nessie – he looked I me – Don't apologize. – I looked at him biting my lip – you are a teenager. It is common – he struggled – to see boys in that _way_ at your age. It´s just that we are not a _common_ family. A regular father wouldn't be forced to see _exactly_ how his daughter _sees_ and _thinks_ about boys.

Yes dad, but… - I didn't want to admit it – but it´s Jake, I mean _Jake_. Why I don't see Justin or Conner _that_ way?

How would I know if you don't know? – He said looking away.

Yes, I guess you are right. – I said – It must be a teenager thing- I shrugged.

I am sure it is – he said clearing his throat – but please, try to control your thoughts. – I blushed. This was too embarrassing.

Yeah dad… sorry about that – I sighed trying to block those thoughts – So, yesterday you told me you wanted to show me something. What is it? – I asked him.

Follow me – he said already running.

We ran until Port Angeles and stopped in a huge house in a hill. It had gorgeous gardens all around. There were two ancient oak trees in the front yard. We entered to the house. I was astonished; all the shore could be seen from the main room. It was beautiful.

What is it for dad? – I asked still impressed.

I´ve noticed your mother have developed some interest in painting. She wouldn't tell me – he frowned – but I don't need to read her mind to know her – he repeated with a grin – and since her birthday is only months away… I thought this would be perfect for an art school.

Oh my God – I said looking everywhere – this is perfect dad!! She will love it!!

Esme offered herself to redecorate the place. And of course, after a few years we would need to look for someone who gets old to run the place, but in the mean while; Bella could do the job. – he added

Trust me dad, she will love it. - reassured him.

We stayed a moment in the place and then we left. We got to the house and Jacob was gone. I knew I shouldn't think about him with my father around. But he had said it. I was a common teenager thing.

Why I could only imagine Jacob _that_ way? Why not other boys? I tried to imagine Justin. With his blonde hair, green eyes, pale skin and his big smile; I couldn't. I tried the same with Conner; brown skin, dark hair, honey eyes; without get any result. So I went through every boy in my class, and the every boy in school. I couldn't either. I couldn't imagine their faces. I could only see Jake´s.

Two long weeks passed. Everything seemed almost the same. I was still unable to stop think in Jake. Rose and Emmett had gone to Germany. Dad was aloof; mom said he was giving me some space, which I appreciated. She told me the same things that dad, that it was a teenager thing.

Carlisle and Esme had stayed in the house the last week to receive Alice and Jasper whom arrived tomorrow. They had called saying they had a surprise to me. I would have been exited and eager to see what it was if it hadn't been for Jacob´s attitude these last two weeks.

He was very changed, he seemed distracted. Like if he was in a place and his mind in other. This was driving me crazy. When I asked a something, he would choose his answer randomly. At first I thought dad had told him something about… well my thoughts. But dad told me he hadn't.

Then I realized that dad didn't need to tell him anything. Jake knew me better than anyone. He knew _what_ had been going on with me the lasts weeks. He didn't want to hurt my feelings telling me he didn't see me _that_ way. _That_ is why he was so aloof and absentminded.

Of course he didn't see me the same I saw him. I was a child to his eyes, his was 24 and I was 6; technically. But in a few months I _would_ stop growing, definitely. And in the other hand, he could get older. He _would_ get older, at some point.

It wouldn't bother me, but it might bother _him. _Besides, we were totally opposites. He was a werewolf and I; well I was I freak of nature. An oddball nobody could love _that _way. I went to sleep, trying to block every thought in my mind.

Apparently, it worked. The next day I woke up like any other morning, eager to see Jake. Everything I had realized last night seemed not longer important. I was happy today.

I took breakfast. My eating habits were weird, like everything in me of course. I had always liked more the human blood, though I was used to my family´s animal blood diet. Sometimes, I was _hungry_ besides _thirsty_. I even liked food, so I ate sometimes. Especially at school. It was easier to pretend to be normal if you ate at lunch.

Mom was with me in the kitchen while I ate when Jacob arrived.

Hey Bells! – Jake said waving.

Hello Jake – mom answered.

Hi Nessie – he said kissing my forehead. I blushed and my mom turned away laughing – How are you sweetie?

Ehm… fine, eating – I took a bite looking to the table.

Do you want some? – Mom asked him.

I already took breakfast, but yeah sure! – He shrugged. Mom gave him the plate full of food. He took a big bite.

This is good Bells! – He said taking another bite.

Duh! Mommy did it! – I said flattering mom.

Just because I don't eat, doesn't mean I can't cook – she said rolling her eyes.

Jake mimic her and she stocked her tongue, I laughed they looked like kids. Jake and I finished eating and then we left.

This was going to be a good day, he was back to normal. He even grabbed my hand while he drove. Obviously my heart beating gave me away. And he evidently could listen that, he smile and looked away. I blushed. Damn it! It wasn't going to be an easy day after all.

Nessie – he looked at me still smiling – since we didn't had the chance to go out last week because of my finals, we should go to the movies this Saturday, tomorrow. You could tell Christina, Justin, Conner and Paula. Embry, Leah and Seth could go too. Claire has a show at school and Quil wouldn't miss it.

Ummm… ok I'll tell the guys today – I said. We already were in the parking lot.

Ok – he stared at me – I'll pick you up today – he promised, caressing softly my hair and then my cheek. The touch made me feel dizzy, I started hyperventilate, my heart stopped and then started even faster. He visibly noticed that. He giggled and then slowly pulled back his hand with a strange look.

You always do Jake – I said looking at him. I took a deep breath and got out of the car. – Bye!! – I yelled walking toward my friends. Though what I wanted to do was jump.

He waited until I got to them and then waved me before going. I saw his car going out the parking lot. I turned to meet the guys with a grin from ear to ear. There were Paula, Christina, Conner and Justin, with their eyes wide open. Evidently, all of them noticed my euphoria.

Wow!! – Conner said – it seems we´re happy today.

More than happy – I replied – I'm in ecstasies.

And the reason is…? – Justin asked.

Ha! Like you don't know! – Christina told him.

Yes, yes, yes – I answered – Whatever you say! I don't care! I´m too happy to care about it. I'm in love – I yelled.

Finally she noticed it – Christina said to herself.

He told you he loved you?! – Paula asked with her mouth hang open.

Nope – I knew he didn't love me. But I loved him, and I was happy to know it.

You told him? – Conner guessed.

Nope – I answered.

OH MY GOD! He kissed you!! – Paula yelled.

No!! – I yelled back. I wished he had – stop guessing! Nothing happened! Ok? – I told them.

Then why are you so happy? – Justin asked skeptical.

I told you guys. I am in love – I repeated.

I think you should tell him – Conner added.

Your mom let you fell when you were a child? She can´t tell him! – Christina said rolling her eyes.

I´m just telling – Conner defended himself.

We walked to classes silently. They stopped asking questions or at least, I thought they did. I wasn't paying attention.

I wasn't going to tell him. _"Hey Jake, how was your day? – Oh yeah? – Great! – by the way, I´m in love with you"_ Yeah right! He would have thought I was crazy, and I surly was._ Me_, a half vampire in love with a werewolf. The height of my oddities in my list.

I didn't know what he felt. But at least I knew what _I_ felt. I was no longer confused, and I was thrilled about it, so thrilled I could fly to the clouds. I was in my own bubble of happiness.

But I was an oddball, a duck-billed platypus. He could never love a freak. Besides he was a werewolf and I was a vampire, well half a vampire. He might be friends with vampires, but he could never love one. Not even mom! She told me once; Jake had realized he didn't love her _after_ she became a vampire. He stopped loving her because she became a vampire? _I_ was a vampire. A disgusting thing at his eyes. _Pop! _My bubbled exploded.

Yet I could not hold this feeling into myself. I had to let it spread. What if Conner was right? What if I should tell him? Clearly it would hurt if he didn't love me back, and I knew it was the case.

But at least I could release these emotions that were riddling my core. Yet, what if he loved me? I would have been the happier whatever I was, in the whole world. I knew it wasn't a substantial possibility. But it _was_ a possibility. I had to take a chance. I had to give it a try.

The morning passed too fast and fuzzy. There were only a few minutes for the last hour of classes to finish, and I was decided. Today was the day. Today I would tell Jacob what I felt. No matter the consequences.

We got out of the class room and walked through the aisle till the parking lot. There were no clouds and my skin had a little glow under the shinning sun. Paula and Conner were making me some company while I waited for Jake. I remembered what he had told me in the car.

Hey! Jake and I are going to the movies tomorrow. Will you join us? – I asked

Won´t you like to be alone with him? – Conner asked with certain implication. I actually wanted to be alone with him, but I had other times to be it.

No, it´s ok. I want you to go. – I assured them – Besides, some friend from La Push are going too.

Then ok. It´s settled. – Paula said.

Hey Ness! Look who´s there… - Conner said pointing at Jake´s car.

I looked at Jacob. He was leaned against his car with folded arms. His hair was fastened in a bun. He was perfect. My heart shouted. I smiled of embarrassment and waved him. He was aloof, but not like before. He had a serious face. He seemed very focus in his thoughts. Yet, his face was weird. He was frowned and staring at me like he was trying to discover something. I twinkled. It was funny _and_ embarrassing.

My human pace was horribly slow. I was anxious to get where he was and be in his arms. The only place in the whole world I felt totally happy and safe.

Jake!! – I said launching onto him in a huge hug.

He hugged me back and I hide my face in his chest. His heart was beating as faster as mine. He buried his face in my hair and kissed me in the top of my head. I started to hypervenventilate again. I leaned back to take some air and kiss his cheek. He pushed me back softly. I supposed it was to look at me, what reminded me how he looked before.

I touched his unclothed arm and tried to focus in what I was showing to him, instead of that I was touching him. I showed him the way his face looked while I was coming here.

You looked funny – I added smiling and looking at his eyes. He looked away.

What were you thinking? – I asked.

Ahh? – He said with a silly face. I giggled again looking to the floor. He was so cute when he acted silly.

You looked, besides funny – I met his glance – I don't know, thoughtful, absentminded – I added.

Do you think? – He asked.

Yeap! – I said nodding.

We were into the car, heading to the house. He hadn't answered my question, and I wanted to know what he was thinking before. _What_ was he thinking so focused?

So – I said looking through the window to not meet his eyes – What was it?

What was what? – He asked with his eyes on the road.

What were you thinking? – I murmured biting my lower lip and looking at my hands.

He didn't answer. I looked at him. He was frowned. I knew he wasn't going to tell me. So I took a random CD and put it in the CD player. I listened neither the lyrics nor the music.

I hadn't forgotten that I had made my resolution. I had decided I was going to tell Jake what I felt. What I hadn't decided was _how_ I was going to tell it. _"Jake, I like you"_ No. I would be too straight. _"Jake, I know we are friends and you see me like a sister but…"_ No. I would be going over the issue. _"Jake, I have been feeling some emotions…"_ I didn´t like it either, but it was all I could come up with, and we were near home. _You can do it!!_ I told myself. I took a deep breath.

Jake – my voice was lower than I expected. I cleared my throat – I ehm… I wanted to talk to you – I said

He was still looking to the road. Good, that way would be easier.

I… I don't know how to say this – I said with my heart almost out of my chest.

Look Jake I… I – I hesitated. There was only one way to do this. The straight way – I love you Jacob – I spit it. He didn't answer.

Did you hear what I said? – I asked – you won´t make me say it again. Do you? – I pleaded. He was still with his eyes buried in the road.

Jake? Jacob? – I called him – Hey Jake! Wake up! – I call him again, screaming. He shook his head – Damn it Jake! What´s going on with you? – I asked angry.

Ummm… sorry Nessie – he said – I was, er… just thinking.

Really?! – Like I hadn't notice. I had just said I loved him, and _that _was his answer?

Eh yeah… I have to… eh… I have to go to my place – he said looking away.

Ok – I was angry with him, yet I wanted to be with him – I'll go with you, I'd like to see Billy – I added the first excuse I came up with.

Eh… no, he's… er I'm going to meet the pack – he said too quickly.

Ah... – this took me by surprise – I didn't know – I was always aware of the pack's meeting, I didn't know about this one.

Eh… yeah… umm I forgot to tell you, it was umm… a last minute meeting – he said hesitant.

Uh. Ok. – Why he hadn't told me about this meeting? But he said it; it was a last minute meeting – well… I guess I'll see you when you come back. – He was coming back. Wasn't he?

Or maybe not. Maybe he _did_ listen I said I loved him and he was faking that meeting because he didn't want to be with me. Because… because he didn't feel the same. How could I be so stupid to think he could ever love _me_? How could I let myself to even think that was a possibility?

Eh yeah… I guess so – he said. I leaned to hug him and then regretted. I couldn't be with him right now even thought I wanted to. I took off running and crying.

My mom and Esme saw me ran to my bedroom. I wanted to be alone, but mom wasn't dad; she couldn't read my mind to know what I wanted. So she ran after me, I shoot the door in her face. Oops!

Renesmee Carlie Cullen Swan… Open the door RIGHT KNOW!! – She shouted through the door; though she could have knocked it down. I knew she was just worried for my attitude, but I wanted to be alone. I opened the door.

I'm sorry mom... but I just want to be alone, please – I pleaded, trying to containing the tears. I couldn't.

Nessie… what happened? - She said with her worry tone.

Mom please… - repeated.

She left and without closing the door. I walked to sat on the bench by the window hid my head in my hands. I was pouring in tears I couldn't handle myself.


	10. Chap 8 Renesmee POV

Why? Why I had to tell him? Why I had to be so stupid and couldn't keep my mouth shut?! If I hadn't told him I wouldn't be here crying like a perfect idiot. How could I ever think he could love _me _in some way? But, how I didn't see it? It was in front of me.

The distance he had created between us the last couple of weeks, was because in somehow, he knew how I felt; _what_ I felt. He knew me better than anyone. How I didn't guess he would know it?

I looked through the window with only a few tears in my eyes, all garden was bloomed. There were all kinds of flowers, there were beautiful. They looked happy.

I wished I were I flower. They didn't had to worry to fit in, or to please anyone, or if anybody loved them. They came out in spring and hided in summer. They were just happy. I wanted to be happy.

I felt a hot touch in my arm. I hadn't heard anyone approaching. I looked up scared and there he was.

I stood up in a blur and ran into his arm. I was weeping again. I wanted to be happy with _him_. He was the only person I could ever be happy with and he didn't want me.

But part of my happiness was him to be happy. If he didn't want me, if he was happy with someone else I had to let him be. If he was happy I was happy. I had to convince myself of this, it was for his good. I _had_ to make it for _him_.

I was still in his arms trying to block my tears; he couldn't see me this way. He took my head with his right hand I didn't let him go. He looked into my eyes and I met his gaze. I heard him swallow and his heart was beating fast.

"Nessie, I…" he said in a voice a human wouldn't have heard, he hesitated for a moment "I wanted to know… eh… why are you crying?" I broke in tears again. I couldn't tell him I why I was crying, I wanted him to be happy.

"I don't know Jake" I said between the sob "I don't even know why I'm crying" I had to keep this away from him. He deserved happiness, and even though he didn't love me; me suffering would have made it impossible. I hide my face in his chest and his heart was beating faster this time.

"Shh… don't worry honey. It's ok, it's ok" he said caressing my hair and pressing me to his chest "Cry everything you want to, it's ok. I'm here, I won't go, I'm here."

I cried harder. How could I be so selfish? I knew he was unhappy seeing me this way. I knew he was unhappy if he stayed with me, but I wanted so badly him to stay.

He sat on the floor dragging me with him so that my head rested on his chest. He caressed my hair, my back, and the back to my hair and so on. He rustled a song I didn't recognize swaying back and forth. The sun was still in the sky.

I didn't know at what point of his swaying I felt asleep. In my dream, Jacob and I were in the emptiness holding hands, I would sometimes kiss him and he kissed me back. He would caress my cheeks, my eyelids, my lips. I was happier than ever.

He looked at me and I saw his face, the more beautiful face that I had ever seen. His full lips with a smile printed on it. His hair, covering his eyes the way I loved so much. And then I stopped in his eyes; they didn't seem as happy as he seemed to be. They didn't look happy at all. In the depth of his eyes, he was sad.

"Jake, what's wrong?" I asked worried at his sadness.

"Nothing's wrong" he answered quickly. But I knew better.

"Then why are you sad?" I asked

"I'm not sad" he said frowned.

"Yes, you are. I can see it" I replied.

"I can't tell you" he said.

"You can tell me anything. You know it" I encouraged him.

"If I tell you then you will be sad too" he said.

"I don't care. I love you" this time he had listen. He waited a moment.

"That's the problem" he said reflecting the sadness of his eyes on his face. "I don't love you, not the way you love me. I'm with you because I want you to be happy. I would do anything for you to be happy, but I can't handle it anymore. I cannot lie to myself and I cannot lie to you" I couldn't speak. He dropped my hand and started walking toward the nothingness.

"Then stay" I yelled. My world trembled. How I could do this to him? "Don't go Jake, don't leave me. Stay with me, please." I pleaded.

What I was doing? I was condemning him to a life without happiness, a life of sadness. He took a deep breath, turned back and walked toward me. He gave me a kiss in the forehead and I smiled.

I woke up moaning with my eyes full of tears. Jake wasn't with me. I started to cry lauder. How can I be such a monster? How could I do that to him? When even in my dreams, the only thing he wanted was my happiness. How could I deny his?

Mom, Alice and Jasper entered in my room in a blur. Between the tears I could see their alarmed expressions, which made me cry even lauder. I was making _them_ unhappy too. Was I able to make at least one person happy?

"Jasper!" Alice told him with an expressive look while mom had already her arms around me.

"Shh… don't worry sweetie it's just a dream, it's just a dream" mom repeated swaying me back and forth. I started to feel better. Surely because of Jasper.

"Thanks" I said between sob. "Sorry for scared you guys…"

"Don't worry Ness, we're here now." Alice said comforting me.

"Now" mom said while I pulled her away "Are you going to tell us about your dream?"

"Nightmare should you say." I clarified

"Well?" She asked again.

"I don't want to talk to about it." I said. Mom frowned, I wanted to talk to somebody but not my mom. She knew how I saw Jake, yet she didn't know I was in love with him and it was kind of embarrassing. He was mom's best friend. "Not know."

"It's ok honey. When you're ready." Mom said hugging me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Well I didn't know you had such a short memory Renesmee, but just a few minutes ago you were screaming…" Jasper said and I just rolled my eyes.

"I mean, you guys were supposed to arrive at afternoon." I clarified looking to Alice and Jasper.

"We took an earlier flight." Jasper said. I stood up and hugged them both.

"I missed you so much." I said.

"We too Ness" Alice pulled me away "but honey," she said looking at me from head to toe and shaking her head "you're a mess!!!" I chuckled and mom finally stood up.

"Well at least I have an excuse, I sleep and I just woke up" I said "what's _yours_?" I asked joking. Her mouth was hanging open. Everybody laughed except her. "Just kidding!! You always look gorgeous!" I said hugging her.

"This is the first time I see someone take by surprise Alice" mom said.

"Of course she's always gorgeous" Jasper said kissing his hand. She launched onto him sucking his face.

"Oh please! Get a room." I said rolling my eyes

"Ummm… yes! I see it… thanks for the idea Ness…" Alice yelled already out of the room. Mom and I giggled.

"So, do you want to eat? Or drink?" Mom asked.

"Ummm…" I always hunted with Jacob, were we alone or not. And he wasn't around. "Eat" I said looking away. Mom noticed it.

"Ok, get dress" She sprinted out of the bedroom.

I took a deep breath and went to my huge walking closet. I took a look of myself in the mirror. Alice was right, I was a mess. I decided to take shower to calm my nerves, they were coming back and Jasper was gone.

I tried to relax feeling the water go down my body and prohibiting myself to think in Jacob.

If I was going to let him be happy, I had to give him his space. I had to pretend not to be miserable and desolate doing it. My dad would notice it, I had to ask him please not to say something and respect my decision. I hoped he'd listen and pleased me.

I took some pretty clothes and dressed up. The smell of the eggs mom had made, impregnated the whole house. In the kitchen I could smell Esme, Carlisle, Mom and a smell I hadn't sensed in many time. I was in shock. I went downstairs as fast as could. And there she was, looking at me with her unforgettable Vampire face. That wasn't a face easy to forget.

"What are you doing here?" I said still in shock from the base of the stairs. She slowly and delivery took a big step and launched onto me "Zafrina!!!" I yelled.

"My Nessie!!" She said "you have grown so much! You look stunning" I blushed.

"Thanks! You are, well you are the same!" She chuckle "How is that you are here?" I asked recovering.

"Did you like you surprise?" Carlisle said.

"Ehh… duh!!" A if it wasn't obvious. "Grandpa, grandma!" I said greeting them.

"Hi sweetie" – Esme said calmly. I went to her side and kissed her on the cheek.

"Hi twinkle!" Carlisle said giving me a on the forehead.

We sat in the table and mom served me two eggs with bacon in a smiley face form.

"Thanks mom! How are Kachiri and Senna? I haven't seen them in years!" I said to Zafrina taking a bite.

"They are very well my dear. They sent their regards" she said with a smile. I smiled too.

"Why they didn't come?" I asked. Mom gave her a look.

"They had some _issues_ to take care of over there." She said frowned. Ok this was weird. I took another bite "How is your Jacob honey?" I swallowed. She blew away all my attempts to not think of him. That's how I used to call him, _my_ Jacob. He would never be mine. I took a deep breath.

"He's ok" I said trying to sound normal. I didn't succeed.

"I'm very glad my dear. Is he coming today?" She asked with curiosity.

"I guess so" I hope so. NO, you cannot allow yourself to hope. "Hey where is dad?" I asked to mom trying to change the subject and taking another bite. I hadn't seen him.

"Ehh… he's out" mom said looking away. She wasn't a good liar "with Jacob" she added looking down. I swallowed harder than before.

"Oh…" shit!! My dad had seen my dream… and he was going to tell Jacob… no, he wouldn't do that. Would he?

"Where're Alice and Jasper?" Carlisle asked cutting my thoughts. I appreciated that.

"You wouldn't like to know" mom said.

"Oh! I see…" Carlisle said in a laugh.

"So what do you want to do?" I asked Zafrina

"Actually, I am a little thirsty" she said "the travel was a little long."

"Well, as you obviously already know we cannot allow ourselves to hunt in town." Carlisle said politely. Zafrina didn't share our vegetarian diet.

"Do not worry my old friend. I already know regulations." She replied with a smile. Carlisle gave a smile too, though I knew he didn't like the fact someone would die.

"But it's sunny" Esme replied.

"That's not a problem, Nessie could get Zafrina a ride out of town" mom said winking at me. I knew dad didn't like me to drive, though I did it better and more prudently than him. How ironic. He didn't mind me hunting a bear, but me behind the wheel that was a different story. Puf! Over protector.

"Yes, of course I wouldn't mind" I said with a big grin. Anything to not be here when Jacob arrived, with _dad_. Though I desired more than anything to see Jake's smiling face again. Don't think about it! I told myself.

Zafrina and I caught up in everything that had happened since the last time I went to Amazonas to visit her coven. I felt kind of bad, for being a little absentminded while we talked.

We waited I few more hours to leave. I drove her till the outsides of Seattle. I must admit, I was a little tented to join her in the hunting trip. But I caught myself. Though I had drunk human blood, I had never killed a person I my whole life, I wouldn't start now.

I liked more the human blood; but not that much to see my eyes on red, that was one of the reason I stopped drinking donated blood. I hated it and Jake too. Though he didn't like it, he never judged me for what I am.

I couldn't hold myself with all these things I had inside of me. I needed to talk it to someone. But the only person I talked about my problems was Jake.

How could I talk to him if _he_ was the problem? No, he wasn't the problem. He was the solution to all my problems. But even so, if I could not talk to him. Who I could talk to?

My dad, puf! He would have monopolized the conversation with all the whole teenager crap. My mom, NO! Absolutely not; she was his best friend it would have been so awkward. Rose, ummm…could be; but no, besides she was in Germany, she would have told me I was too pretty to be with a mongrel. Esme, too sweet; she probably wouldn't have paid attention to what I was saying and just told me everything was going to be alright. Carlisle, well he would have been perfect, but he was my grandpa and I was his twinkle. Jasper wouldn't have let me feel my own emotions, which was probably the best thing; but I couldn't have spoken honestly. Emmett, NO!! No, no, no, no; he would have make infinites jokes about it and awkward questions like:_ "how it feels to be licked by a dog?"_ he was absolutely discarded. I would have thought in Grandpa Charlie, but he and his _need to know_ crap wouldn't have let me tell him everything.

The only one left was Alice. She was weirdest and the less insane at the same, though she had been in a mental hospital.

"Alice?" I said by the phone "do you have a minute?" Stupid question, she had all the eternity.

"Sure sweetheart, where are you?" She asked.

"I'm in the old cottage" I said

"I'll be right there" she shut the phone.

The old cottage, my old room, my old life. Everything seemed to be so perfect when I was a kid; technically I was just 7, but that didn't count. When I was, practically, unaware of the things that happened around me. When I could be with Jake without the concern I had now. When I was simply happy.

Alice arrived sooner than I expected. She stood in the frame door for a while looking calmed. I had made a good choice to call _her_.

"Are you ready to talk?" She asked sitting by my side in my old bed. I nodded. " Can I ask a question before you start?" I looked at her "Why you call _me_? I mean is not that I'm not glad, but, why not _Bella_?"

"Because she is my mother and you are my aunt" I sighted "and besides I cannot talk to her about this." I added.

"Because…?" She asked. I had to be honest to her.

"Because she's Jacob's best friend" I said

"Oh" She seemed to understand, as if she knew something.

"What do you know?" I asked.

"Ummm… Why don't we start from the beginning? Show me everything" she extended her hand. I show her my dream.

"I see" She said blinking "Nessie" she seemed hesitant "What exactly do you feel? I mean, about Jacob"

"Huh!! Don't you have an easier question?" I asked sarcastically. "I… I don't know if I can explain it…" I said.

"Give it a try" she encouraged me. I took a deep breath, this wasn't easy to explain.

"When I see his face, when I see him, is like nothing else in the world existed. It's like…" I sighted "Like I was drawn to him, like I was attached to him with millions of chains" I stopped, my heart had started to beat faster and I had to breathe. I had never had said this to anyone. Not even myself.

"Go on honey…" she said smiling.

"When I'm… when I'm with him I feel… safe, safer than I feel with anybody. I feel… loved"

"Ok. Then…" she doubted "Why don't you tell him that?"

"You didn't see my dream, do you?" I asked in a low voice.

"Yes, and it's just that. A dream" She said very confident.

"But he doesn't love me" I murmured.

"How do you know that?" She asked.

"Alice… who could ever love _me_? Besides you…" I cut off.

"Renesmee! If you don't stop being stupid, I'm going to leave" She said with folded arms. I didn't want her to go, not her too.

"Sorry" I said.

"Now" she said lowering her tone "You want him to be happy? Right?"

"Yes" More than anything in the world.

"And since your dream" she pointed it out "he wants _you _to be happy? Am I right?" I nodded "So, given we're following the dream… I really think you should tell him Ness…"

"No" I shook my head.

"Let me finish… you say you want him to be happy, so he's happy getting want he wants; and he wants you to be happy and you are happy being with him. That lead us to the point that you should tell him for you to be happy and he will be happy to see you happy and you will be happy to be with him" She ended her conclusion with a huge grin and a sigh.

"I think I lost it when you said happy" I joked. "I mean, I do get your point. But what if he does want me to be happy but he does not love me?"

"Honey, life is about to take chances" She said "I mean, look at your parents. You think it was easy for them? But they gave it a try, and look at them know!!" She said with a smile.

"No, I don't want to. Is gross…. Eww!" I said with a face. She laughed. We stayed in the cottage for a couple of hours.

"Do you feel better?" She asked.

"I think so" I said nodding. I was still confused but at least I did feel better.

"Are you ready to go?" She sighted.

"Uhm… yes" I didn't know if I was going to tell him, but I definitely wanted to see him. I haven't seen him in all day and I missed him too much.

We got to the house. I knew he was there I could smell him. My heart bumped.

"It's ok honey… breathe" Alice told me how to breathe as I hadn't ever breathe. I mimic her. It was good to feel some air in my lungs. "Better?" She asked when my heart beating slowed. I nodded.

"Alice? Can I take your hand?" I was too nervous. She smiled and took my hand.

There were all in the living room. Carlisle and Esme on the small couch, Zafrina on one armchair, Jasper on the other one, mom dad and Jacob were on the big couch. Alice took a deliberated step toward de room I froze in place and she pushed me getting me out of trance.

"Hi everyone!" She shouted in her tiny voice. It was good to have her back home.

Mom stood up and hugged us both. Then Alice went to sit by Jasper side she winked at me and I could only see dad's face, he was almost giggling. _This is fun to you??_ He nodded. _Well I hope you enjoy yourself_. I made a mental face. Then he leaned his head and turned his eyes toward Jacob _Are you encouraging me??_ He rolled his eyes and nodded.

"Hey Jake!!" I said looking down.

"Hi" he said looking his food. Dad rolled his eyes.

_What else do I do? _I said mad and went to sit with folded arms between Esme and Carlisle, like I used to do when I was little, every time mom and dad scolded me. Everyone but Jacob and I chuckle. _Shut up dad!!_

They kept talking about what they were talking before Alice and I arrived. All of them but Jacob and I. We were like two tell off children. He was sitting beside mom, eating bite by bite. His body was there, his mind not. It was like it had been abducted by aliens. This put me to the top… I got up and went to the porch, I couldn't be in the same room he was, thought I wanted to. Dad followed me. _Dad, pleaseeeee_

"You want me to go?" he said

"No, don't want _you_ to go. I want to be alone" I clarified.

"How are you going?" he asked.

"Ha! I'm going nut!!" I said. He sat by my side on the step.

"Are you… are you going to tell him?" His asked frowned. _Dad… I don't know._

"I don't know if I can, I mean look at him. He doesn't even know where he is!" I said a little too laud, he wouldn't notice. And by this point everybody should know what's going on… dad laughed; his was in a good mood tonight.

"Actually… they don't know what's going on. Only you, Alice, Bella a bit, and of course I'm aware of _everything_. Even of things I would prefer not to be aware of. But…" he shrugged "What can I do?"

"Dad, seriously. Suppose that he can get out of the trance and that I'll tell him" I said "Everybody is watching _and_ hearing. Is awkward and embarrassing"

"If you really want to tell him I can fix that" He sighted "Do you want to tell him?" _You a vampire, are helping your only daughter to declare her love to a werewolf?_ "Tell me before I regret" he said frowned.

Did I really want to tell him? What if…? No! I had already said that I had to give it a shut. _Dad what he feels?_ His eyes popped out.

"No! No no no, no a clue…. I don't hear you!" He said with his hands I his ears. Like that would help!

"Dad pleaseeeee… I'm begging you" I got down on my knees "Please?

"Nope! I can't tell you… is his mind, is his privacy" he said shaking his head. Well it was true; at least he respected people privacy. He relaxed to my thought.

"Ok dad" I said standing up, resigned I wouldn't get nothing of him. _I need your help…_

We got into the house again, I went to the living. Mom was practicing unlock her shield with Zafrina. He wasn't there. Where was he? I leaned my head to the kitchen; he was washing the dish where he had eaten. The others were in the music room hearing the Carlisle's new composition. I went to the living room and sat on the big couch. Zafrina's illusion covered my eyes.

Suddenly I was in a mountain, surrounded by ancients trees taller than buildings, its trunks were covered by tree ferns. There was all kind of exotic birds tweeting around. I could hear the sound of the water crashing with the rocks; it was the sound of a stream passing by my right.

"Ehm Nessie?" What? That wasn't part of the illusion, oh! Was dad. Zafrina freed me from the illusion "Would you mind go with Jacob to the plot of land I told you? I'd like it to have the approval of all the family, including Jacob" he said leaning his head and eyes toward Jake. _What that hell dad? NOW??_

"Yes dad, no prob" _I'm gonna kill you dad, you could have told me!!_ "Can we go in aunty Alice porche?" _Dad I don't care a damn the porche… PLEASEEEE TELL ME!!_ I said with my best scolded puppy face. Jake's face relaxed, Oh my god!! Why he have to be so perfect? I'm going to dieeeee… I told myself

"Nope" dad answered.

"Ok" _I'm serious dad!! Watch your back…_ "Jake? Do we go?" He nodded. _Thank you dad._ I said sarcastically.

Ok. We are into the car. He's by your side. You have to tell him. You have to speak. Don't forget to breathe. Tight your hands, they're trembling. Breathe! He cleared his throat, look at him… What? ANSWER!!

"Uhm… sorry?" I asked. He had talked to me?

"Where were you? Before?" He asked. What am I supposed to say to him? _No I just was telling Alice how much I love you._ I was supposed to tell him at some moment. But I had to make sure he was really listening _this_ time.

"Uhmm… don't know, just around, wandering" he's looking at you control yourself. I could control myself, but not my heart.

"Eh… ok" he said looking away.

After we arrived to mom's future art studio; I showed him every room in the house, the beautiful view to the shore from the main room and he would nod once in a while without answering. This was going to be difficult if he didn't speak. Like I said, I had to make sure he was listening this time.


	11. Chap 9 Resnesmee's POV

My heart was bird heart beating like. My hand were sweating and trembling; if I were a werewolf, I would have said I was about to phase. I took a deep deep breath. Ok. I'M READY.

"Renesmee…" what?? Noooo…. No no no. He had to be kidding me!! _I_ was going to talk.

I forget who I was, when I looked to his face. He was looking at me astonished. A face I hadn't seen before on him. It was perfect too. I blushed. He took me by my shoulder, his hand was trembling; he was _actually_ going to phase?

"Nessie" I drowned in his eyes "We need to talk" How did he know we needed to talk? My dad had told him? No…

"I have something to tell you. Nessie…" he tried again "Have you ever heard of imprinting?" What?? No, He had interrupted me to give some kind of lecture? He didn't interrupt you; he just went ahead of you…

"No" I answered.

"It's a really weird thing" he frowned "It's a bond between two animals of the same specie" he cleared his throat "well usually between the same specie" I sighted, trying to get where was this coming from "This bond is, in most of species, between the mother and the litter, it's formed when the litter is born; the first time the mother see it" He said in a low voice and his eyes were tearful. Why? I had to comfort him.

"It's ok Jake, I'm listening" I said leading him to the window in the main room. We sat on the floor. I touched his face with the palm of my hand. He grabbed and kissed it. I had to remind myself he wanted to make his point "Go on…" I encouraged him without letting go his hand.

"It's an indestructible bond. Werewolves…" he sighted "We imprint too"

"Really?" I said impressed "Wait! You imprinted or whatever with you mother?" With all reason he was so sad and depressed; his mother was dead. This thing was an indestructible bond and he didn't had the affect of the other part.

"No" he said with half a smile "Not all the werewolves imprint. It is kind of different for us."

"Oh I see" I really didn't see anything but I had to let him express himself.

"We werewolves, born as humans, later on life for some of us, the ones whom have the gene; the change occurs. It is terrible at first but you learn how to manage it" he said

"Was it difficult for you?" I asked really curious at his sadness. We hadn't talked about this ever. I wonder why?

"It was, at first" he said frowned and then smile "But like I said, it gets easier. I am an Alfa now! Ha!... Well…" he frowned again "Some people think this imprinting stuff is a way to assure the gene for the next generation and to make them stronger… others that it's a magical thing."

"What do you think?" I asked. He looked to the ground.

"We'll see… I'll tell you later" he promised.

"Ok" I said "Wait! You say some people think it is for assure the next generation of puppy wolves" he chuckled "But how's that? With their own mothers??? Yuck!!" I made a face. He didn't laugh.

"No" he looked too serious "We do not imprint with our mothers."

"Oh. Ok." I said.

"We imprint with…" he hesitated "With who is supposed to be our soul mate."

"Oh… ohhh!!" I said "Ok I get it, is for assure you guys to have a couple…"

"Sort of… or at least that's what I thought"

"What? Can't werewolves find a couple by their onw?"

He ignored my comment and put his head o the hand that wasn't on mine "We thought that the imprinting was not only to assure us a couple, but to assure us _the_ couple compatible with us."

"Like a match maker?" I said trying to help

"No, no like that" he said with half a smile.

"You lost me!" I said shaking my head. He took a deep breath.

"A couple genetically compatible with us. I mean that when we had kids, the wolf gene could be transferred to them through us."

"Ok. I think I got it." I assured him "But, what made you change your minds?" He stood up. I knew here was coming the part he really wanted to tell me. I stood up too and hugged him by the back.

"It´s ok Jake" I said inhaling his essence. He turned around and hugged me too.

"You don't have idea how this feels" he said with his face in my hair.

"How what feels?" I asked.

"You, hugging me" he said casually kissing the top of my head.

"Ahh?" I asked pulling back.

"Renesmee" ok this was weird, that was the second time he had called me by name in less than 2 hours "What made us change our minds, what made _me _change my mind was that… I imprinted."

"What?! YOU. IMPRINTED?" I yelled a second after what he said sunk in me.

Here was the answer I wanted so much. Now I knew why he didn't love me. He could never love me. He would never love me.

It wasn't because I was a freak. It wasn't because he was a werewolf and I a half vampire. It wasn't because I was ugly or obnoxious or whatever!

It was because he was as attached to someone else as I was to him. That wrecked all my heart; it was like suddenly it had stopped beating.

Then my dream came from the back of my mind. Jake's face of resignation that he had to stay with me just because I had asked him to. I had to made a difference among my dream and this horribly reality, that was somehow worst that the dream itself. This was his path to happiness, I had to let him go… and he would take my non beating heart with him.

"Are you ok?" He asked to the edge of collapse.

"Ye... Yes" I said with tears in my eyes.

"Why are you crying?" He doubted.

"Be... Because I'm happy for you" I lied between sobs.

"But… I haven't told you all" he said looking to the floor. There was more?? They had already ordered the wolf cubs??

"Ok" I said biting my lip. He deserves happiness, he deserves happiness… I told myself one time after the other.

"Nessie…" he said lifting my face so I could look at him "Nessie, I… I imprinted on… on you."

What? He just said what I just hear? He couldn't have imprinted on _me_. No no no no. This is a joke.

"Bite me Jacob!!" I said running, why I had always to run? He stopped me before I could get to the door. "Jacob! Please move." I said almost yelling.

"No!" He said in the same tone.

"I'm sorry?" I asked incredulous. He haven't use that tone on me ever before.

"No" He repeated "I won't move. Not until you tell me why the hell you are running from me _again"_ he said in a softer voice. Crap! He did notice I had been running off of _him._

"Then we'll get older in here!" I said sarcastically.

"Well, we have the eternity" he reminded me. Ok wait! I had come here to tell him everything. But I had to get some answers first.

"Ok I'll tell you" he dropped his hands from the doorframe. "But you had to promise me something."

"Anything" he said too eager and then regretted.

"No, no, no, you promised" I reminded him "I need to know… I have to know what you feel about me." His heart started to beat irregularly and his hands trembling.

"I… I have seen you grow; I helped Edward to bring you to this world. We have share so much together." he said frowned "I have always seen you like a friend, like a little sister…" I knew what he was going to say, that this imprinting crap didn't worked on him. "And…"

"Please don't" I dropped my face. I thought I was stronger, I thought I could hear it coming from his lips. But I couldn't. I wasn't that strong. He took my face with both his hands no longer trembling.

"Nessie I love you. I'm in love with you" my heart that had stopped beating rise again to life so fast that my chest hurt. My face was hotter than ever and not because his hands on it. My eyes started to drain without stop as I shook my head. Denying every word he had just said.

"You can't… you can't love me…" I couldn't believe he did.

"What in the whole world make you think that I cannot love you?" He asked in the softer and sweeter voice I had ever heard.

"I'm a duck-billed platypus" I said breaking off.

"Ok… I believe you. Now, can you explain me what does that mean?" He said hiding I laugh.

"That means that I'm and oddball… a duck-billed platypus nobody could ever love. That's what it means!!" I said yelling again between the weeping.

"But _I_ love you" – he repeated. My heart throbbed again.

"Don't say that again" I pleaded, I didn't want to hear a lie.

"Why? You… you don't feel the same?" He asked dropping his hands. How could he think I didn't love him?

"Jacob" I had to say it, and this might be my only chance "I could not imagine my life with you. When I see you face, is like to whole world stopped moving around me. It's like I were hold to you in some way, it's like you were my center of gravity. Jake…" I lift his face "I love yo…"

He took me by the waist and pulled me to him, I had his face only inches away from mine. My heart was beating almost uncontrollably. He looked at me and his eyes were glowing.

"I love you" he repeated before put his lips on mines.

The heat made me shivered; he pulled me even more to him, my body was tightly arched to his. His hands, one in my waist and the other tangled in my hair pressing my face to his. I didn't resist any of the movements of his lips against mines, in the contrary; I mimic them. I could feel his enthusiasm growing as well as mine.

I hold his neck in my hands. He freed my lips to follow the line of my neck to my jaw. His lips and teeth founded my ear, and then went back to my lips. This time he opened his mouth and I did the same. I could feel the heat of his breath running through my veins. I took his hair in my hands, gasping while he kissed me again on the neck.

I moved his head and founded his chin; I covered every part of his neck with my lips. He was gasping now. He dragged his hands to the lower of my back and stuck them in there. I felt every part of his body clutched to mine.

I separated my lips from his neck to breathe and he started to kiss every part of my face; eyelids, forehead, both cheeks, nose, chin and then, went back to the lips he kissed me softly. I was still hyperventilating when he hold me in his arms, I hid my face in his chest. But I wanted more…

I started kissing his neck again; I found there his weak point. Then I went down to his chest, his heart was beating in unison without stop. I grabbed his hands from my back and secured them in mines. He was as strong as me but he wouldn't resist. He was letting me lead now.

I put him against a wall in the room a little too strong. Then he turned and put me against the wall softly. He started to kiss me going back and forth from the lips to the collarbone.

"Your. Father. Can. Read. Minds." He said kissing my lips between each word.

"I won't think in this" I said pulling him closer.

"I don't think I could not think in this" he said while I kissed his jaw.

"Well… try" I said going back to his lips. He kissed me back and then pulled me away softly so he could see my eyes.

"Seriously Nessie. He will kill me" he said smiling.

"Ok" I went back to his arms "I love you" said with an innocent kiss in his neck.

"You don't have idea how I craved to hear that." He said holding me tighter.


	12. Chap 10 Renesmee's POV

**A/N: Good news guys! Here is what's promised!**

**Okay, so please don't kill me.**

**I know it's been ages since my last update and that I promised I would post a new chapter soon. But for some reasons the update was delayed, nevertheless, here it is!**

**Sorry if you find some errors, but sadly the beta never happened and I honestly don't have time to correct this… So I'm really sorry.**

**But anyway… here it is. Enjoy!**

PREVIOUSLY…

"_Your. Father. Can. Read. Minds" He said kissing my lips between each word._

"_I won't think in this" I said pulling him closer._

"_I don't think I could not think in this" he said while I kissed his jaw._

"_Well… try" I said going back to his lips. He kissed me back and then pulled me away softly so he could see my eyes._

"_Seriously Nessie. He will kill me" he said smiling._

"_Ok" I went back to his arms "I love you," said with an innocent kiss in his neck._

"_You don't have idea how I craved to hear that." He said holding me tighter._

Jacob and I laid on the floor for a while. My head was resting in his chest and his arms around me. I could not think of better definition of heaven.

"How is that this happened?" I asked cutting the perfect silence.

"How is that _what_ happened?" He asked.

"You and me. I mean you imprinting on me." I said.

"I don't know. Is the weirdest thing that had ever happened, not that I don't like it; I love it," he said kissing the top of my head "but we are supposed to be natural enemies. I mean we werewolves exist only to protect humans from you vampires."

"We're rules breakers." I joked.

"Then I love to break the rules." He said making me smile.

"When did you imprinted?" I asked.

"What? Are we gonna play twenty questions?"

"No, I'm just curious," I heard him sigh.

"The first time I saw you" he answered.

"I'm sorry?" I said surprised sitting up. I thought it has been a few weeks ago, when he was acting so strange…

"The first day I saw you. The day you were born" he said "You know I thought I was in love with Bella." He said slowly.

It took everything I had in me not to cringe at that thought. It had always bothered me somehow, I mean it's weird know that your best friend was in love with your mother; but since I discovered the feelings I had for Jacob, it was worst, I was not only in love with my best friend, but in love with my best friend who at some point was in love with my mother.

And now… well, now it utterly disgusted me. I mean, how could I not be disgusted? We were talking about Jacob and my _mom_.

"That day after she gave you on birth, I thought I had lost her forever. The only person I could ever love. I was destroyed. I wanted to kill them all for let that happened to Bella. I… I wanted to kill you for had killed her" he said with an ashamed face.

I was silent for a moment. This took me a little by surprise. I mean, it would be shocking if who you thought loved you told you that once upon a time wanted to kill you. But then again, I could understand what he meant. I couldn't even think that if Jacob were killed, what I would do to the responsible of his death… weather it was intentional or not. The only thought made me shuttered.

"I would never forgive myself for even consider it" he said in a gloomy voice.

"Don't be silly. I wouldn't ever consider it if it were you who was killed. I would just do it without thinking it" I said, seriously "But good you didn't."

"I couldn't have done it." He said with a half a smile "When I came downstairs only Rosalie was there with her back to me and you in her arms, it would have been so easy. Then you leaned you face in her shoulder and set your eyes on me. And that was it, I was bewitched!"

"So I caught you!" I asked giving him a kiss on the mouth he kissed me back. That hadn't been my intention but I wouldn't resist or complaint. He cut off and leaned back with a big grin "You are mean! I was getting to the best part, why did you pull apart?"

"I could have caught you too" he said showing off. I opened my mouth to scowl him for be such a cocky but then give up.

"Without a doubt" he was right. "So, _I_ caught you and then what?"

"Not much. Only that my whole world and universe was rounding around you." He smiled.

"Well it wasn't a big deal" I assured him "But you have always loved me? I mean, you know…" I asked.

"No, well yes… but not always the way I love you now. I mean it hasn't always been romantically" he clarified "When you were a kid I was worst that Edward and Bella together overprotecting you yet at the same time I was like a toy for you; I liked to be your toy."

"Well… that doesn't have to change" I said biting my lip and making a path in his arm with my finger "I can still play with you…" he looked down at me with a shocked expression. And I suddenly felt ridiculous. I mean, what was I doing? We had just said each other how we felt and I was already thinking in going further?

"I'm sorry" I mumbled.

"What?" he said as if he was coming back to earth.

"For what I just said."

"Oh… well, don't worry, I would love to be your toy" he said and then gapped as if it just escaped his mouth "I mean, like I used to be… you know…"

"Uhmm… right… -

"Reading mind dad, remember?" He sighted. "Anyway, as you grew up my role in your life changed too. When you needed a playmate, an accomplice for the pranks, a friend, a confident; I was there for you, I was all those things for you."

"And you liked to be all those things? I mean, they sound like boring for a person 17 years older than me."

"No… I loved to see you laugh, play with you. I just loved to be with you. I _love_ to be with you." He said kissing my hand. I felt my heart flutter, so I tried to focus.

"But there was no even an unpleasant thing about all this? I mean everything was perfect?" I couldn't believe that everything was as perfect for him as it was for me.

"Yeah, is just that when I'm with you I feel complete…well the only bad part of this was when I told Bella. She almost chews Seth's leg," he laughed at the memory I suppose. But I was only focused on a specific part of what he said.

"Pardon me?" I asked.

"Oh shit…" He smacked his hand in his forehand.

"When you told _Bella_? As in Bella my_ mom_?" I asked with my eyes wide open.

"Ehh… uh hum?" He said hesitant.

"And she knew it?"

"Yes…" he answered "Actually all of them knew it."

"_All_ of them?" I asked, my voice rising an octave.

"Yeah... Baby, don't be mad at them. Okay? They only did it because they wanted you to be normal" he said too quickly.

"_Normal? _They wanted _me_ to be _normal_? And which part of _half vampire_ could fit in the term _normal_?" asked

"Well that's true, but they wanted you to be normal among the strange. You were the only one that the family would see live all the stages of life. They don't wanted you to get to the adolescence with your mind set up, that you had to be with me for some weird reason. They wanted you to have choices they wanted you to _make_ your own choices and not be forced to do anything." Ok that wasn't that bad, they did it for a good reason. I was with Jake now and it was my choice. I _had _made my choice.

"Well…" I said dragging me on top of him "I glad they did it. I'm glad they let me choose. I'm not forced to do this" I said kiss his new founded weak point.

"Yeah, I glad too" he said taking me by the waist "Remind me to thanks Edward, or should I say my father in law, next time I see him."

"I like how it sounds, _father in law_. Scary isn't it?"

"It's scarier if you add the fact he's a vampire" he replied. I rolled my eyes.

"Why do you have to thanks him for?" is asked ignoring his comment.

"Because if it hadn't been for him, I would probably not be here with you."

"How so?"

"He helped me to get rid of everyone so I could tell you that I love you and that you are the most important person in my life" he answered kissing my jaw. I could feel myself losing in him when I catched the meaning of his words.

"He helped you too?" I asked. He pulled away a little to look at me.

"Too?" He asked.

"Well, he kind of did the same for me. You see…" I said biting my lip "before you spoke earlier, I was going to tell you the same you told me, without the imprinting stuff."

"Oh, really?"He said.

"Yeah…" I answered.

"And what's that?" Jake asked grinning at me. I hid my face on the crook of his neck and whispered softly.

"That you're the most important person in my life, you're my best friend and now you're much more than that; that I could not see my life without you in it in some way… _any_ way. That I love you."

"I love you too. So much" he said cupping my face to kiss me.

We stayed like that for a few hours or minutes, I really couldn't have tell, before Jake broke the silence.

"So, Edward's a match maker" he laughed.

"Yeah… would've been funny watch him dress as cupid" we both laughed at that "So… can I tell everyone you're my _boyfriend?"_ I asked biting my lip.

"Hmmm… Is that what I am" He asked with an eyebrow arched.

"Well… yeah. I mean, if you want to of course… but if you don't want to… I mean… if you want…" I stammered. He joined our lips effectively cutting me off.

"I want to be whatever you want me to be" he assured me when he pulled away. I bit my lip and tried to control the squeal that wanted to escape my mouth. Instead I nodded and said.

"Ok. Then yes." Then I kissed him.

He turned so that he was on top of me without breaking the kiss. He held my hands in one of his above my head kissing my lips till he reached my collarbone. With the other hand, he stared to delineated outline of my body, from the head to my waist and then again the head. I freed one of my hands and took his head pressing it to my face so I could focus in his lips. After a while like that, he leaned back using, what I guess was all his self control. Obviously his was stronger than mine, because I certainly couldn't have pulled away in that moment.

"Okay… That was something" he said, sitting up and breathing a little heavy.

"Tell me. I can't even move" I said from the same position he had left me.

"So, I'm your boyfriend huh? I like it" he said with a crooked grin "Well, but for the moment, I don't want to be mashed wolf," He said as he stood up and offered me his hand "so we should better get going before my parents in law kill us both."

I took his hand and took off to a new stage of my life.

**So…? What did you think?**

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**Won't wait so long as before for the next chapter, promise!**


	13. Chap 11

**A/N: See? It didn't took so long to update this time... Hope college let me keep it theat way from now on. **

**Enjoy!**

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* * *

**Previously...

_"So, I'm your boyfriend huh? I like it" he said with a crooked grin "Well, but for the moment, I don't want to be mashed wolf," He said as he stood up and offered me his hand "so we should better get going before my parents in law kill us both."_

_I took his hand and took off to a new stage of my life._

_

* * *

_

Renesmee POV.

People say everything in life is predestined.

But the future can always be changed.

At least, that's what I've been told.

It had been almost a year since I found out about the imprinting and Jake imprinting on me. All my former preoccupations about whether he loved me or not, were not longer important. Now I knew he loved me as much I as I loved him. It didn't take anyone by surprise that we ended up together; they must have seen it coming.

There were some changes going on around La Push. Sam and Emily had had their second child. Another beautiful girl, Lizzie; she was extremely cute. Emily had gotten a job at the Reservation's School and when Sam was busy with the pack's issues and other stuff, Jake and I would babysit Lila and Lizzie.

Paul, a member of Sam's pack and Rachel, Jake's sister; were getting married. Everyone was exited, though it wasn't quite a surprise since to Paul had imprinted on Rachel.

Now that I knew by self experience about the imprinting, I got to understand many things. Quil and Claire's relationship for example. They had always been together, Quil had never missed an act at Claire's school, he was always so overprotective with her without being suffocating; she didn't seem bother by that, though. They reminded me of Jake and me when I was younger.

I had asked Jake once if they were related somehow, he just told me that Quil cared much about Claire and vice versa. Now I knew exactly why. I felt the same four year after I was born, which means when I was around eleven.

In the other hand, things at home were a little weird and awkward. Mostly because of dad.

Despite he had been the one who helped Jake and I to take the next step in our relationship, he had some kind of issue whit that. He said that was not the same hang out all the time with my _friend _Jacob, that hang out all the time with my _boyfriend_ Jacob. There was the difference for him.

Just involve the word _boyfriend_, and I have visiting hours and a curfew.

Perfect.

"Dad! Why?" I yelled "It's not fair."

"You are not going to tell me what's fair and what's not young lady. I'm your father" he said.

"Edward please…" mom interceded "The curfew I agree but…"

"Mom!" I said "The curfew? I had never had one. Why now?"

"Yes honey, you need to have some ground rules" she said talking to me "But Edward, love. Visiting hours? I think it's too much."

"No, it's not too much" he replied.

"It's Jake we're talking about" mom added.

"That's precisely why I'm doing it" he growled.

"Edward, please?" mom pleaded. He looked at her and then sighted

"Fine." He said with the arch of his nose between the thumb and the index finger "Forget about visiting hours but that mongrel can stay till 11:00 pm."

"Jacob, dad! Just in case you forgot he has a name and is JACOB!" I growled.

"And the curfew is still on!" He added glaring at me and ignoring my comment.

"Well, I don't care about the stupid curfew. I'm out of here" I said holding back the tears.

"Where do you think you're going?" dad said standing in front of me.

"I already told you dad. Or do I need to pass it to you written and sealed?" I said with my hand in fists "I'm going to Emily's. Now, can I go?" I asked through my teeth. Dad clenched his jaw but moved away. Which was all I really cared anyway.

Jake was waiting outside the house and obviously he had heard all our conversation. If that could be named a _conversation_. I got into the car filled with anger and fighting against the tears that wanted to come out.

"Jake let's go" I said making enormous effort to be kind. After all it wasn't Jake's fault that my father was a tyrant.

He started the engine without saying anything. It thought I saw his hand shaking a little. His expression was harsh. He was frowned and his hands clutched the wheel up to a point I thought he might broke it. We were in our way to La Push, passing by the cliffs when he stopped the car.

"Neisse you shouldn't have…" I cut him off. I already knew what he was going to say. It was not as if this was the first time we've talked about it

"Jake, look at me" he met my gaze "Jake, you are the most important thing in my life. I don't care what dad says; I don't care what mom says" I said each word slowly.

"But you should care. They are you parents" he said frowning and looking away. I sighed.

"Jake, I do care. I didn't mean to say it like that. Of course I do, but just because I care doesn't mean they're right" I said grabbing his hand "Because they're not. They are wrong, he is wrong if he think that a curfew or the stupid visiting hours are going to stop me to be with you. I love you."

Before I could even stop saying the words I was in his arms, his lips in mines. In this last eight months we've been together, I had developed a kind of an addiction, if you can call it that way. And it was Jacob. I craved for him in every way possible. It was as if I couldn't be complete if he wasn't with me.

My hands moved l across his toned chest while his were holding me by my back. I could feel his hot skin through the thin fabric of his shirt. My heart throbbed as it did every time he kissed me, touched me or even went near me. I managed to jump from the passenger seat to straddle him on the driver seat. His mouth moved from my lip to my neck giving me soft kisses all around it. My hands were tangled in his hair on their own accord. He held me close to his chest breaking my embrace, in the same way he did always he thought we were going too far.

"You shouldn't do that" I managed to say recovering my breath. And a little frustrated.

"Do what?" He asked with a smug smile.

"Encourage me, and then stop me. It's mean." I said looking at him.

"Someone has to be the responsible one" he said.

"Well…Let me be the one in charge for a while" I murmured kissing his jaw and going down to his neck. He pulled me away softly.

"And then you ask why your father is tough" he said with a grin, but there was a glint of anger in his eyes. I sighed going back to my seat.

"Let's go to Emily's. She's waiting" I said folding my arms over my chest.

"Are you mad at me?" he asked. I wasn't really mad, but I still didn't answer "Ness?" still no answer "Come on baby, don't be like that."

"Don't be like what?" I finally answered. And I think I kind of glared at him.

"I'm doing this for the two of us. It's just that…" he cut off.

"That what?" I asked.

"Never mind, let's go" he started the engine again.

"You know… that's pretty frustrating Jacob. Why don't you finish your thoughts instead of let me hanging?" I looked at him, but I knew he wasn't going to answer "You know what? Just let's go"

We were silent the rest of the way to Sam's place. Lila was outside playing when arrived. We got out of the car Lila ran to Jake.

"Unca Jay!" She said climbing on his legs. Jake grabbed her in a big hug.

"Hey kiddo… you're big." He said stroking her hair. Her smile grew bigger "Look who I brought" Jake said pointing at me and putting Lila on the ground.

"Nessie!" She ran to me. I grabbed her in the air….

"Hey sweetie" I said kissing the top of her head.

"Opus is hided…" she said pulling me toward the trees. Opus was her imaginary friend and she always found a way to play with him. And made other people play with him as well because he liked have new friends "He told me he wants you to find him"

"Really?" I asked and she nodded "Well, why don't you let me say hi to mommy and Lizzie, and then I come back so we can look for him together?" I said. She nodded letting go my hand and running to trees again. I felt a bigger and warmer hand replacing Lila's.

"I love how you are with kids" he whispered in my ear and I couldn't stop the smile that formed in my face and the shiver that went down my spine. I can only stay mad at him for so much, especially when he approaches to me like that. And he surely know my weaknesses

"I love kids" I said "Maybe that's why I love you, you're just like an overgrown kid." his grinned at that.

"Let's go inside" he said dragging me with him inside the house.

Emily was in the kitchen, making some food for the girls before going, Lizzie was asleep on the crib.

"Hey Em!" Jake said waving from the door. He went directly to the crib. I went to the kitchen.

"Hi Neisse… thanks you for coming. I own you another" she said.

"Don't worry Em" I said smiling.

"Well, Lizzie's bottles are in the fridge, the nappies on the bedroom and…" I cut her off.

"…And if we need something, Jake phase and call Sam." I said.

"Well yeah, I guess you guys know the routine" she laughed.

"Don't worry Em. It's ok" I hugged her.

"I should be back at 7 and Sam a little earlier."

"Ok Em… hey by the way, Esme asked me to tell you she'll call you to set up the menu for the wedding" I added.

It was odd how two vampires are helping with a werewolf's wedding. Well I guess it is mostly because the bride is my sister in law. Besides Alice wouldn't let anyone to dress her niece as maid of honor and Jake as the best man.

"Oh, she already called. She and Alice are coming tomorrow" Emily said.

"Really?" Jake asked "And Sam already knows?"

"Yes, of course." Emily assured him "We wouldn't break the treaty. I guess he was going to tell you later."

"Ah… well it's fine" Jake shrugged "I'll tell the boys."

"Sure. I guess I should get going" – Emily said "You both already know…"

"Bottles on the fridge, nappies on the bedroom, Jake phases and call Sam, you'll be back at 7 and Sam earlier. Now, go!" I said smiling at her. She smiled back. She gave Lizzie a kiss on the forehead and went out of the house.

"Honey, behave and listen to Jake and Ness, ok?" She said to Lila hugging her.

"Yeah mommy. I love you" Lila said giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"Me too honey" Em said getting into the car.

After Emily left I was dragged to find Opus with Lila while Jake saw us lay down under the shade of a tree with Lizzie sleeping on his chest.

We spent around three hours looking for Lila's imaginary friend until she said she had found Opus sleeping on her bed. Lila went around the garden collecting all kinds of flowers; I went to seat by Jake. He was looking at Lizzie frowned, yet at the same time with a face of bewilderment. He seemed too thoughtful.

"Hey there" I said squeezing his hand. He relaxed his face.

"Hi," he answered kissing my hand.

"What were you thinking?" I asked.

"Not much, just watching Lizzie sleep" he said stroking her hair "She reminds me of you."

"Me? Well I hope there's no way a wolf can imprint twice!" I joked. He laughed.

"I don't think so" he answered and then he frowned again "It's just that" he hesitated for a moment "Everything was easier when we weren't, well…"

"Together?" I finished.

"No… well yes. It's so terrible of me to say that? Not that I regret being with you, I will never regret that" he glanced briefly at me "But we never had to worry about other people worrying about us being together… It's like…" I cut him off.

"I know what you mean" I said "I feel trapped too" he sighed.

I leaned to the part of his chest where Lizzie wasn't and he kissed the top of my head. We stood like that for a moment, listening the three heartbeats, feeling the wind caressing our skin.

I knew exactly what he meant before, about the feeling that everybody is watching you, waiting for you to slip. Not letting make your own decisions, taking chances, make your own mistakes. How could you learn to live if you don't make mistakes? After all, mistakes are made to learn about them. Aren't they?

Though dad seemed to think that being with Jacob was an error, I knew he was wrong. I knew I was doing the right thing being with him. And if this was a mistake; which I was positive it wasn't, I could not afford being apart from Jacob. He was the most important thing in my life. I could not live if he wasn't with me.

"You know" he said taking me out of my thoughts "I could have…" he trailed off. Like he wanted to say something but at the same time didn't want to "I could have killed him right there."

"Could have killed who?" I asked, surprised to hear him talking in such a harsh tone.

"That bloo… Edward" he said with his jaw tight.

"What?" I said a little loudly as I got up from his chest. Lizzie started to move so I kept my voice in check "What did you say?"

"That I could have killed your father for yelling at you like that," he said with closed eyes "I wanted to kill him."

"Jacob Black!" I scolded him.

"No Neisse, you don't understand the anger I felt when I saw you were about to cry," his tensed his jaw "that _he _almost made you cry."

"Jake I know it is hard," I said caressing his cheek "But you can't just do whatever it comes first to your mind."

"Trust me, I didn't do _anything_ that I had in mind" he said.

"Jake…" I said. He just closed his eyes and took a deep breath without letting go my hand.

"I'm sorry I said that, I should have…" he sighed "I'm sorry."

"It's ok Jake. Trust me, I kind of wanted to kill him too" I tried to joked to lighted the mood. It didn't work "Hey! What was that you were going to say in the car?"

"Uhm?" he asked confused

"You know after to pull me back?" I reminded him.

His expression changed in a million ways. I could say that he was remembering the moment but at the same time, was he embarrassed? His heart beat rose and blood was running to his face making him blush. It made me thirsty, but not the same kind of thirst I had of blood. This was the kind of thirst I felt every time he kissed me, thirst of him.

"Hmmm… don't remember" he said nervously "What do you mean?"

"Hey calm down… I don't bite" I said "Well at least you want me to" I suggested trialing paths in his arm. His heart went faster, was that possible? "Hey baby, don't worry ok? Won't bite. Really" I assured him. I spoke again when he was calmer "Would you tell me?"

"Hmmm…" he said uncomfortable "Yes… but not now, Sam is coming."

"Okay" I said.

What was he wanted to tell me that Sam couldn't hear? Worst, what was that made his heart thrummed and his skin get hotter, if that was possible? And why was he suddenly nervous about it?

"Daddy!" Lila yelled dropping all the flowers and launching onto Sam

"Hey kiddo!" he said "How was your day?"

"Neisse and I looked for Opus, he was hidden and now is sleep" she explain.

"Yeah?" he asked really curious.

"Yep! In _my_ bed. Where am I going to sleep now?" she asked frowned and looking to the ground.

"Don't worry hon… you sleep in your bed and I'll past Opus to the couch. Ok?" he said lifting her chin. She nodded and then climbed up to Sam. "Hey guys! Had fun?"

"Yeah" Jake said.

"Hi Sam" I greeted him.

"Jacob I need you to tell your pack that tomorrow we're having some visitors…" Jake cut Sam off.

"Yeah, Em told something about that. It's ok, I'll tell the guys" Jake said.

"Oh… well ok, thanks" Sam said, but according with his face, I could tell he didn't love the idea of having two vampires in the reservation "You guys gonna eat here?"

"Hmmm… no Ness has to get home… early" Jake answered, reminding me of the stupid curfew.

"Oh, okay. Well this one past out" he said pointing at Lila resting in his arms "I'm gonna lay her down."

"Don't forget to past Opus to the couch!" I whispered while he was walking through the door. Jake chuckled.

"Hey wanna go to the beach?" Jake asked meting my gaze "I mean just a moment."

"Yeah" I said nodding. There was nothing I could deny to him if he saw me with those melting dark brown eyes.

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**See you next time... **


	14. Chap 12

_Previously..._

_"Hey wanna go to the beach?" Jake asked meting my gaze "I mean just a moment."_

_"Yeah" I said nodding. There was nothing I could deny to him if he saw me with those melting dark brown eyes._

* * *

We said goodbye to Sam and the girls, and Opus of course. Then Jake drove to the beach.

We walked in the shore for a while. The sun was hiding in the horizon. The sky was dyed with shades of orange and pink. The sound of the waves crushing the rock of the cliffs was drown out by the humming of the wind in our ears.

Jake stopped a few feet from the water, looking to the endless line of the horizon. I mimic him. He turned to the left and met my eyes caressing my cheek with both our hands.

"You know, my life was empty before you" he murmured and his hot breath washed my face "And now I have everything I had always dreamt and more. I have you. You are the only thing I need to live."

"I will always be yours" I managed to say as I hugged him. He held me tighter.

"We better get going… it's getting late" he said kissing me lightly on the lips.

Jacob left me in front of the house; I had to convince him that it was better if he didn't come in tonight, he didn't want me to confront my dad alone. But only the thought of dad fighting against Jacob made me sick. It was better to chill things down and then go back to normal.

I had a very god relationship with both my parents. I felt sick only knowing I had fought with dad and though he had overreacted and I knew I was right, I decided I would apologize for my behavior.

"Hey Japer, Alice…" I said as I walked through the door. They were sitting on the couch in the living room, Alice nestled in Jasper's chest.

"Hi Nessie" Jasper answered looking up at me.

"Well, at least someone in this house knows how to dress without my help" Alice said looking at me with a grin.

"Er… thanks?" I said unsure if it was a compliment or not "Where's dad?"

"Here…" I heard him say from upstairs.

I went upstairs, thankful that neither Jasper nor Alice made any references to the events of this afternoon, even though I knew that at least Alice knew what happened. I walked slowly to my bedroom; Esme had made a beautiful job in it. I had a huge wooden bed; the walls were painted of deep purple… of course the huge walking closet couldn't be missed if Alice was involved in the decoration…

When I reached the door, which was open, I saw dad sitting on the floor with the back against my bed. I walked slowly towards him and hesitantly sat by his side. We stayed in silence for a few minutes before I could not take it anymore.

"Dad I'm sorry…" he cut me off.

"No," he said shaking his head "You have nothing to be sorry about… I shouldn't have been so harsh. I know I overacted. And I am sorry…"

"Don't worry dad" I said reaching for his hand.

"It's just that…" he paused for a moment, "It's hard to admit that you're not a little girl anymore. Just years ago you only were this kid that needed help to catch a deer. And now here you are with a _boyfriend_ and thinking in _things _I really don't want to hear…"

"Hey don't mess around with my thoughts" I teased.

"Trust me, if I could help it… I would. But your hormones seemed to be shouting." he said between joke and seriousness. I tried to hide my embarrassment, though that was pretty difficult having a mind reader father. And though those abilities were sometime annoying, he couldn't help it. And he couldn't help acting as a dad either…

"Thank you" I said.

"For what?" he asked.

"_For being here with me, though is difficult for you. For being my father and my friend. For loving me and understand me." _ I answered in my thoughts.

"I'll always be here for you, baby doll"

"And dad?"

"Mmmm?" I hesitated saying what I was about to say, I didn't want to ruin the mood.

"Don't be mad at Jake. He… he's trying to do his best too" his jaw seemed to tense. Maybe that wasn't the best subject to talk in this moment.

"No, it's ok honey. It's just that… his hormones had been kept for more time than yours and they are even louder than yours" he said trying to be casual.

"Louder?" The words were out of my mouth before I realized. Dad raised his eyebrows "Sorry" I said sheepishly feeling the heat rising to my cheeks.

"No, no… it's ok" he said closing his eyes "Just try not precipitate in doing… be sure of what you want to do."

I nodded, trying not to pay attention to my own embarrassment, since I was pretty sure that this was not easy to him.

"And… and don't let him pressure you into doing something you don't want to do" he looked at me with pleading eyes.

"Jake would never pressure me into nothing," I whispered looking down to my lap.

"I know" he admitted softly. He stood up and offered me his hand "Now, get some sleep honey" I stood up and hug him tightly.

"Thank you daddy. I love you" I whispered with my face in his chest. He hugged me tighter than before.

"I love you too, baby doll" he whispered before letting me go. He gave me a kiss on the forehead, said goodnight and left me in my bedroom.

After taking a bath and changing in my PJ's I laid in my bed thinking in Jacob till sleep claimed my mind.

Next morning when I went downstairs mom was in the kitchen cooking some pankaques for me; dad was hugging her by the waist with the head resting on her shoulder. I clear my throat. They just looked up without moving.

"Hey mom" I said kissing her on the cheek.

"Hi sweetie. How did you sleep?" She asked.

"Good," I said "Is there any problem if I go to the beach today?" I asked hesitantly.

"Why would there be any problem?" Dad said. I looked at him and then to mom. She winked at me.

"No… just asking." I stammered. Apparently mom had convinced dad to remove the curfew…

"Nope," dad answered my thoughts casually "The curfew is still on. I just don't see any problem in you going to the beach."

"Umm… ok" I shrugged "Well I'll call Jake to pick me up."

"No honey," mom said "Esme and Alice are going to La push. They'll drive you there."

"Ok… I'll get ready then" I said running upstairs.

I would have to give that one to dad; he was really trying to act normal to my relationship with Jacob.

At least for now.

After I was ready, we drove to La Push in Alice's car. As we passed the first house of the Reservation, memories of my infancy kept running through my head. Ever since I was little, I had been coming to La Push very often. Great deal of my time was spent here; it was like another home to me. Both packs had welcomed me with arms wide open too… with its exceptions, of course, but that's not the case. It was a place where I didn't have to hide who I really was, people with who I could be myself… they were like and extension to my family.

"It's very kind of Sam to let us in today" Esme said as we approached Jake's house.

"Yeah, well I think it was more Emily's doing than Sam's" I said I little dryly. Remember when I told you about exceptions…?

"Renesmee" Esme chastised me.

"Sorry" I said when Jake's house came into view.

Esme and Alice drop me there and went to their meeting. I went to the door and Jake opened it before I could knock. He quickly took my face in his hands and gave me a kiss that left me begging for air.

"What you're doing here?" he said with a surprised grin on his face.

"Good morning to you to" I said trying to catch my breath. He chuckled and then his face turned a little serious again.

"Are you ok?" he asked with his face inches from mine. His expression worried. And I instantly knew what he was worried about.

"Everything will be fine," I assured him nodding. He closed the gap between us and kissed me again, this time slower.

"Come in" he said as he pulled apart and grabbed my hand, dragging me inside the house.

Oh damn, now I was embarrassed, because there were Billy and Rachel and they saw our little good morning. I really was not into the PDA. "_I'm going to kill you Jacob"_ I said through my touch. He just laughed and gave me another kiss in the cheek.

_Well, at least I was glad that his mood was lighter than yesterday._ I thought to myself.

"Hello Nessie" Billy greeted with a sly smile in his face.

"Hi Billy" I said as I walked toward him and gave him a hug. "Hi Rach," I said "how are you?"

"Oh God! So stressed. Never thought a wedding could give such a hard work. Thanks God for Alice and Esme, they know what they're doing, I think I would be so lost without them and Emily. They're really god sent" she said from the kitchen.

"Yeah, I always thought they should start their own party agency." I said as I went to sat by Jake on the couch. "They just left, by the way"

"Oh, good. We gonna meet at Emily's. By the way, you two need to try the outfit, well, Alice will tell you when you're needed."

"Crap. Seriously?" Jake said with a face.

"Of course! Nessie is the maid of honor and you are the best man. I'm gonna change" Rachel as she walked to her bedroom.

"Yep, besides I don't think it would be wise to piss off Alice" I said, remembering the few time I have.

"That pixie?" he scoffed "Yeah, right. As if she could take me down".

"_You know, I bet you look really handsome in a tuxedo. Maybe I could help you dress…" _I said with my touch and bit my lip before saying my next words_ "…or undress, if you'd like."_ His eyes widened a little and his heart went faster, as did mine only thinking in _that_ scenario.

The power he held on me was… for lack of a better word, enormous, huge. Everything he did, everything he said… every part of him, had an effect in me. The way he moved, graciously and at the same time manly, confident, effortlessly; the sound of his voice, so smooth and deep and husky all at once; the way his eyes shone every time he was making a joke, or talking about something he like or just simply looking at me…

But what I _didn't_ know, and was _just_ beginning to discover and understand, was the effect _I_ had in _him_.

"But, I guess I'll do whatever for… my big sister" Jake said, clearing his throat, when his heart rate slowed a little.

"What are you gonna do today?" Billy asked, oblivious to our little interchange. Jake cleared his throat again before speaking.

"We're going to the beach with some friends" he answered to his father and then asked me "Did you call the guys?"

"Yeah, they're all coming and Paula finally got a chance at work."

"Good, the pack it's coming." He said me and then turned to Billy "Seth too"

"Oh, good. Tell him to stop by Charlie's, Sue's been dying to see him" Billy answered.

Seth had been attending to Seattle University as well as Jake, but _unlike_ Jake, he was living there. At first I really thought Sue was going to die, but we know how tough she is, so she got over it, though she still misses him.

"Hey maybe the three of us could drop by tomorrow, I want to see grandpa too" I suggested.

"Sounds cool to me" Jake said "We should get going."

We said our goodbye to Billy and Rachel and then Jake drove to First Beach. We got out of the car and we walked holding hands along the shore till we found a good spot and sat on the ground waiting for the others to arrive.

I was sitting between his legs and my back leaned against his chest. He was holding me by the stomach, with his head rested in my shoulders.

We didn't have the need to say something, our connection was beyond words; and not because my special gift. I could perfectly understand now what people say that when there are two, silence is communication. Just being with each other was more than enough for us.

"So… did you get to talk to Edward?" he asked after a while with his lips against me neck.

"Yes…" I said trying to control the sudden need to hyperventilate "…he said he was sorry and that it's just hard for him and that stuff"

"Mmhmm…" he said tracing my arms with his fingertips without stop giving me kisses along the neck. My heart started racing "What else?"

"And… and this hormones thing" I murmured.

"What hormones thing?" He said kissing the back of my neck.

"That mines are crying out loud to be released," I said closing my eyes to give in to the sensation that produced his lips along my back. He chuckled against my right shoulder.

"Is that true?" He asked and I could only see the smile on his face.

"You should know, and besides…" I said tracing my hands from his calf to his thighs. I felt his body stiffen a little "…he said your hormones were even louder than mines." His heart was throbbing and his hand stopped in the place they were.

In that moment, I could feel the swell of the electricity I felt every time he touched me or I touch him, even the more innocent caress. It was like a tension growing, intensifying between us; though it was not tension, it was like this attraction you can hardly resist. Like a pull you can't fight against.

I knew what it was.

He knew what it was.

We both knew we knew what it was.

But we had never talked about it.

We had never talked about having sex, maybe on his part it was because he felt I wasn't ready for it, or just because he didn't want to rush anything. I knew that on _my_ part, I hadn't said anything because I didn't know _how_ to bring it up. And maybe that say something about whether I was ready or not. I really don't know the reasons, but we haven't talked about it.

And the last weeks, the last months, this attraction has increased till a point that was too much, too irresistible… almost painful.

At least that's what I had been feeling.

That's the reason of my curfew, of all dad's stress, of the interminable teasing from Emmett the last weeks and why Jasper always dragged Alice upstairs or out of the house every time Jake and I were on the same room with him. Even if were feet apart.

And now there we were on the beach, with my hand almost on a part of him that only in my dreams I had dared to feel. We had touched each other but always with a limit, I knew it was more because he was a gentleman. I also knew I was crossing the line we had never established.

I could feel the heat of his body increasing up to the point that it was almost scolding, but at the same time well received. He hadn't said a word, and his heart was racing. I couldn't tell if it was because of the shock that I had gone this far, or desire for me to continue, or simply shame that we were in a public place; but he didn't move an inch, not to encourage me or to stop me.

Every cell of my body told me to continue, to go higher and never stop.

And I didn't want to stop.

So my fingers moved a little up between his legs and finally he had a response.

Though not the one I had hoped for.

"Not now, Nessie" he said as he quickly stood up, standing me up along with him. I was going to start arguing, when I hear a _"Hey guys!"_ yelled by Embry, who was walking toward us with Leah by his side.

"Hey" Jake greeted grabbing my hand.

"So, you two looked a little busy over there… We can come back later if you want" Embry said wriggling his eyebrows. I blushed deeply. Was it that obvious?

"Stop the teasing... and anyway that's none of your business" Jake growled at him.

"Well at least you are having some fun" Embry shrugged. Leah smacked him on the back of his head.

"Ok that's it…" Jake kept scolding them.

Then out of the sudden I felt kind of dizzy and his voice seemed to be duplicated, like there were two Jakes._ "And besides why you guys had to show up now? I didn't want her to stop."_

"Jake!" it was my turn to do the scolding, without caring about my dizziness or the fact that I was blushing even deeper. Those were _not_ the kind of things he should say in front of them.

"What?" He said too innocent, looking at me.

"Don't say that…" I said.

"What? You want us to keep messing with you _Ness_?" Embry said.

"No!" Jake growled at him. _"God, but it felt so good. Her little hand so close to my… Ugh! Shut up Jake, don't think of that." _

'_Think'?_

Did he just say _'think'_?

* * *

**Sooooo...? What you thought about it?**

**Now, pay attention to me, this is important. From now on every chapter will be mostly from Nessie's POV. Though for those who review, there're _MI__GHT_ be an outtake of the chapter, ****depending on my schedule,**** from other POV most likely Jacob's.**

**So you know what you have to do if you want to get inside the head of that precious werewolf of ours... Press that little button bellow and leave your thoughts there, I'm sure he will thank you for that ;)**

**Oh! And I almost forgot to tell you, next chaper I have a nice surprise for you guys!**

**See you next time ;)**


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